Pursuit of Happiness?

I just finish a church video series on the pursuit of happiness. It was from the Piedmont Church in Marietta GA. I have really enjoyed this since I have been dedicating my life to God. I have been saved since I was around 12 years old. I still remember feeling the present of God in the living room of a meeting have a preacher whom preached out of his home. I have had my ups and downs over the next 36 years. I have gone through a lot of rough patches trying to figure out my place in this world. Trying to figure out what makes a person happy. Trying to be a good christian, a good wife, a good mother, a good sister and a good daughter. I have not been good all the time but I have tried. I have written in journals to try to keep my life in perspective. I have struggled with my faith questioning why???? so many times it is not funny, but always in the end I always turned to God to help me. I know in my heart that I would not be where I am today if it were not for God helping and guiding me everyday.  Thank you dear God my father in heaven.

I talked to my brother today and I was so emotional. I cried to him over nothing. I felt so bad sharing my feelings with him but he did make me feel better. It is so funny how everyday life affects us even when we don't think it is. I think if finally hit me today and it did not help that I had very bad back pain that I think hurt helping the farmer move some heavy fence post. I just hope that it is not another kidney infection like I had over last summer. My back is hurting in the same places but it really feels like muscles pulling. I go to the doctor Wednesday so if it is something else I will find out then. The doctors appointment is just an annual check-up.

I have so many feelings that have been building up since I have quit work and I know I have talked about it on my blog before so I will not go back into that. I should have just did my quite time with my bible study this morning before I did anything else. I did read my bible this evening and had my time with Jesus on day 157. I also try to listen to K-Love radio when I am feeling low like I was today. Why is it so hard some days to do what we know is right? I read this lady's blog that is right about an up everyday this year. She is on day 87 I think and even though she has some pretty rough days with her 3 children whom have fragile x syndrome she blogs about at least one up that happened that day. Everyone can find an up in a day and I think that I am going to start doing this for the rest of the year. I may not share them on my blog everyday but I am  going to keep track of them if I have to jot them down in my journal. My up for the day was talking with my brother. I am 8 years older than he is but I have always been very close to him. He is such a great brother.

Well I will end here. I am getting sleepy.
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