2015 in Review

The year in a review. 2015 has had it's up and down but over all it has not been to bad.

Children:
Seth has been keeping busy doing his "stick work" riding his bike and riding the mule. He is also very helpful in house work to. He does all of the laundry, does the vacuuming and also keeps his and Clays rooms clean. He is also our comedian, he loves to watch Young and the Restless and keeping up with Facebook.

Clay is busy swinging , watching movies and he collects balls. He is a wiz on his computer. He goes through headphone/earbud like water and he loves to take a bath. We have started shaving him this year also.

Clay and Seth

Pets: don't really have any pets but our cows

Biggest change: Both boys are out of there teens. Clay turned 20 this November. 

Biggest Frustration: Clay breaking earbuds, and getting where he does not want to go visit people. 

Deaths: I lost my Aunt Velon and Grandma Myrtie 

Births: none

Farm events: We have raised 5 flocks of chickens this year. We had a very dry summer and the pasture grass got really bad had to feed the cows feed over the summer. The lighting took out all of the light bulbs in the chicken house and had to replace all of them and we had new feed bins put in. This was to big cost on the farm. We had a big tree to fall tearing down the power line. We had a good garden despite the lack of rain. I canned a lot of green beans, tomatoes and made pickles with cucumbers. 

I decided to read the bible thru in a year for the first time ever and I completed last week. I did not lose any weight and keep it off all year. I walked a 100 miles in August! 

My mother-in-law was sick in the beginning of the year and got sick again in November going into the hospital . She is doing better know hoping the New year she stays well. 

my Christmas cactus. 

Hope that we have a wonderful 2016 God Bless!

Brother and Sister Christmas get together

I am feeling horrible. I prayed last night and realized I almost ruined my Christmas being angry over nothing. I have got to get myself under control. I really believe that it is my hormones. I am really going to have to talk to my doctor when I go for my check up in March.

We had a wonderful time!! I was so happy to see everyone and we had a great time. I really feel terrible that I wrote what I said in my blog about it all yesterday. I just wish it could last longer. I need to stop assuming things and be nice.

Alright that is enough about that. We had a great time! My sister gave me a beautiful vest and scarf. My brother painted me the matching picture of my dad to go with the picture of my mom.

Here are a few more pictures that my sister took on her phone and shared with me. 

My nephews playing with there turtles

My brother and his family

My sister and her family

Me my brother an sister

The whole clan!


Thanks for stopping by God bless!

Christmas Day....

Today went pretty good with a few exceptions.  I really don't want to blog a complaining blog but I really need to get this out of my mind. The lead up to this Christmas has been a downer for me and the Farmer. With his mom being sick for around 3 months prior to Christmas and Grandma started having mini strokes and passing away put us in the blues. Along with the fact that his family decided we could not exchange gifts. We found it hard to accept the fact that you can not buy your mom and dad a present. They fussed about it everyday so that we would not buy them anything so we did not. Also as you know from Thanksgiving that we were not even sure if Clay would participate going in the farmers parents house for Christmas.

The reason I say this Clay has gotten were he will not go in their house much anymore without having a meltdown. Also the fact that Clay loves Christmas!! His love for Christmas and going to beach! Mamaw bought him some presents so this was a bribe to get him in the house. He ate his soup, popcorn and drink. Then he was ready for presents. He was not to thrilled with the fact that we all did not go into the living room and open gifts like normal. We are talking 20 years of opening presents with mamaw and pops. He kinda broke my heart because he tolerated going into the living room with the whole crown and sat patiently waiting to open gifts.

What really topped the day off though was the fact that the Farmers, cousins and aunt showed up for a visit. Now this made the house really loud and crowded and it overwhelmed Seth a little and Clay got ready to go. I had to sit with him and rubbed his back to get him to stay a little while longer. But he realized no more gifts so he was out of there. We got there at 1:00 and left at 3:00 So this was a lot better than thanksgiving but it was also a little hard.

Tomorrow is Christmas with my brother and sister and I have made myself so angry with my sister that I am not even looking forward to it. She has hurt my feelings more than one time at the holidays and once again she has succeeded in doing that. I am going to pray hard to night to let go of the anger. Anger is not good it only clogs my brain and makes me miserable. She does not even know that I am angry with her. Oh well I will stop complaining I am ready for Christmas to be over. I have not taken any pictures hopefully I will get some tomorrow.

Please pray for me.

Thanks if you have read this far. Merry Christmas

Christmas Songs....

I love Christmas song. I have the best Christmas memories of my mom singing Christmas songs to me in the car when I was little. She had a beautiful voice. She would sing Jingle Bells, Santa Claus Coming to Town, and many more childhood songs. She also sang Silver Bells and I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus. These two were my favorites. I love when the 99.5 Magic radio station starts playing Christmas music all day from Thanksgiving until New Year.

My sons always liked me singing to them until they got iPods that do it for them. My youngest son loves Christmas and love to listen to and sing christmas songs. His favorites are Holly Jolly Christmas and Up on the Housetop. He is so ready for presents.

I am really trying hard to get more into the Christmas spirit but it is so hard especially now that grandma Myrtie passed away yesterday. Our family keeps dwindling away. Now the Farmer has no more grandparents alive and mine have been dead for years. All we have are his parents,  his sister and her family, he has 6 aunt and uncles alive and I have a sister and her family, a brother and his family, and 3 aunts. All of them live at least on hour or more away in my side. His side most live close by and 2 live far away.

Getting older is hard and once your parents or grandparents pass then families start falling apart. They don't get together no more and to me that is so sad.

On a happier note we have finished our Christmas shopping and I have most of the presents wrapped. Now waiting for Santa to come.

Thanks for stopping by and share your favorite Christmas song with me.

Sad times....

It is a sad time around here. The Farmer's grandma is going down hill fast. It is so sad to hear about. I can not make myself go and visit her. It brings back memories of so many of my loved one passing away. It is so hard to believe that I took her back in September to pick grapes. 

She is refusing to eat or drink. It will not be long and it is so sad. My prayer is for God to just take her with out anymore suffering. 

Christmas time...

I feel like I should tell everyone that this from my heart. I love my parents and my siblings very much and not in any way should anyone to feel bad for me because this is my life! I love it and it has made me into the person I am today.

I love Christmas but there are so many sad memories of Christmas. I sat here tonight and watched Dolly Parton's new movie "Coat of Many Colors" I cried through the whole movie. It was so much love in the Parton's family and the Love for God. They even got their daddy saved at the end of the movie. They even found love with the bullies at school.

The memories of my childhood came flooding in along with the memories of the rest of my life. I have had some Christmas's that I should just forget but they are a part of my life. Like the Christmas my dad gave our Santa gifts away to the neighborhood kid. His heart was in the right place because the dad  of the little girl was an alcoholic like he was, he was on his way to prison and had lost everything. But my daddy did not think about how me and my sister would feel he was just thinking about the little girl that was losing her daddy and he had no gifts for her.

 My aunt took my mom out on Christmas eve to buy us gifts. I don't remember any Christmas as a child that my dad was sober during Christmas. One Christmas he was drunk and woke me up to help him put a race track together for my little brother. Oh well They are my memories and I would not change them for the world. I love my daddy I was daddy's little girl. He had a heart of gold and I see myself in him more than I would like sometimes but most of it was his best side!

This also made me think about what has influenced my life to make me the person I am today. My childhood was my childhood and here again I would not change it. I have had a lot of people say I should write a book but I am not a writer and I don't always find my life that appealing to everyone else. The one thing that came to my mind tonight was what has made me selfish with gifts. When I was little before my sister came along I was a spoiled child. My parents had good jobs and I had a good life. Ponies, cats, dogs clothes, toys and anything my heart desired. Around the age 6 my sister was born and my whole life changed. I never realized until I was in my 20's exactly how this affected my life.

The story starts the day my sister was born my dad had left with some drinking buddies and ended up in Florida. My whole life ended has I had knew it. My mom, sister and me moved in with her brother and his family. This was hard on me. No dad a new baby and living with my uncle. My dad use to call me and talk to me on the phone crying and wanting to come home. I was only 6 years old. He finally came home when my sister was going on two years old.

He wanted so bad to have her attention. She was calling my uncle daddy and my dad hated that. He worked hard to get her love and for her to understand that he was her daddy. This did not take long but then it was not long my mom was having my brother. This is the time my dad was so proud he had a son, but this is also around the Christmas that he gave away and mom packed up and we left him again.  I always felt after that I had to fight for attention and stuff because I was the oldest and I was suppose to understand. I got so selfish and cried, threw a fit when I did not get what I wanted. Like the time I wanted a pair of boots but my brother needed them because he needed some leather shoes so his feet would get well. My sister got a pair to because their's cost less than mine because they were little and by then my foot had grown into a size 9. I got those boots for Christmas after crying and fussing. Then I wanted some Levis jeans. I wanted to be like everyone else at school. Same I cried and fuss until my uncle threw 50$ to my mom and told her to buy me some damn Levis.
But the worse was when I was in the 9th grade and I wanted a pair of green corduroy Levi overalls. It was Christmas and mom said there was no way she could afford them. I really showed my self over these stupid overalls and cried fussed and yelled at my poor mom until she finally told me she had bought them for me for Christmas. I was so ugly.  I hate that now! I don't remember ever telling her I am sorry that I was so ugly. I know that she would forgive me. I miss my parents so much.

Now at age 48 my parents have been dead for 22 years. I still feel selfish sometimes when it comes to things I want but I have tried hard not to want everything right now. I still have times that I get on kicks that I must have something but I talk myself out of it sometimes.

Thanks for stoping by and if you read it to the end God bless you!

Memories....

Today is my dad's birthday! I miss him so much. I think of him most every day. I think about how much he would love having 6 grandson. How much he would enjoy Christmas. How much I am reminded that I am just like him in so many ways. I know that there was a time I would never had admitted that I am like my dad but I see him in me every day. Happy Birthday Daddy!


I am sorry that I am so slack on blogging on a regular basis. I do come on the blog everyday and think I should write something but I never do. I am still reading my daily devotion weight loss book and it is so inspiring but I have not made any effort to do anything about my weight.  I have come to the  conclusion that I am an emotional wreck. One day I am happy and trying to make others happy the next day I feel like I could cry all day. I hate these feelings and wish that I could get a full grasp on them and carry on.  I have not walked and worried about my fitbit competitions. I feel emotionally drained. I am still reading my bible everyday and even that feels like a burden somedays. Then I feel guilty and I know that God deserves better. Oh well that is enough about my loom and gloom. I know that I can get back on track all I need to do is pray and trust in God.

On some brighter notes!!! My brother and his family is coming home for Christmas!! I am so excited! I even had a hormone mishap about this but with love and support from the Farmer, my boys and my brother and his wife. I worked through it. See I told you I was a wreck.

We had Thanksgiving at the Farmer's parents house. His sister and her family came. This was cut short because Clay and fragile x was not having anything to do with it this year. The Farmer had to take him home about 5 to 10 minutes after getting there. Me and Seth ate and left with lots of left overs. We had a good time afterward. We went up to Morrow Mountain and took a family photo.

I have my Christmas tree put up. For the first time in probably 18 years that I have put up a live tree. I just realized that this picture is blurry of my tree.

The Farmer and I went out on an early anniversary shopping and dinner. We had a really good time. 

I have not made any Christmas crafts this year and I don't see me doing any. It is almost like I want the holidays to be over and the new year to begin. I hope that I will be in a better place by then.  

Thanks for stopping by. May God bless you all.

Day 4 and 5

Tonight I went out with my Mommy's Group to eat. We went to a restaurant called Haley Bails in Siler City NC. 10 of the moms are young moms with little kids and 5 of us are older moms with grown kids. I got to drive the older moms and we had a great time. I am the only woman who ordered steak though all the others ordered some type of chicken. I eat chicken all of the time. I had a rib eye medium and it was perfect.

I have never been to Haley Bails. It looks like a barn on the inside and it has a store in it kind of like Cracker Barrel. I bought myself two Christmas ornaments they are so cute a snowman and a santa clause. I am ready to put my Christmas trees up. 

I am ready to go on our Anniversary date. I hope that Judy and Larry stay well so they will be able to stay with Seth and Clay so we can go. I think we are going back to Haley Bails I want the Farmer to try it out. We are going to do the boys Christmas shopping to. This is a tradition that we have been doing for years.

Well I am still working on getting healthy. Reading my motivation books and preparing myself to healthy by 50.

Mindset Shift #2 See yourself Changed.

This kind of challenge is hard for me in a way. I am not good at imagining being healthy and slim. I like the idea that she tells us to ask God in prayer to show us a vision of your life as a happy, healthy and whole person.

Mindset Shift #3 Expose Dark Thought to the light

Dark thoughts are the thoughts of self-criticism, self-rejection, and reminders of past hurts and separation, or abandonment. She suggest writing a letter to God exposing all of your dark thoughts then burn it or destroy it however you feel fit.

Mindset Shift #4 Redefine "Failure"

This is definitely me. When I don't meet my expectations I always feel like a failure or a quitter.
She tells us that Failure is an event not a person. She gives us the task to Ask why did you not have success? Lack of Planning, lack of knowledge, or are you keeping up same old habits and not trying to make change. Write it down when you fail and pray for Gods wisdom to fill the lack in your approach.

My eating has not been the healthiest this weekend but I am aware of all of this. I am working on my mindset and making better choices.

Thanks for stopping by.

Day 2

I am on and off today...My day started off pretty good. I got up around 8:00 am and cooked breakfast. It was not long the farmer come in from hunting. My morning was going well until I called my mother in law. I had finally gotten up the nerve to tell her that the farmer had cut our youngest son hair and she did not need to do it. It was like that episode of Andy Griffith when they let aunt Bee have a vacation and she feels like she is no longer needed.

I was telling her about the motivational books that I had purchased and how excited I was about them and she went in to telling me she must be weird but she did not need a book to motivate her to lose weight or to get her closer to God. She was a smart enough woman to lose weight on her on. Oh well I was not trying to make it about her and I am not trying to complain about her but it just made me feel bad.


Well has the day went on we caught up on some shows that we had DVR and decided to take Clay up to the chicken houses to open the back doors up to air them out. We had a nice time out. We feed the cows and went over to the pasture to take a ride on the mule. Good family time. When we got back we decide to go get a Sir pizza and the farmer was going hunting later.

Well around 5:00 pm everything starting falling apart. Seth and I were watching the Young and the Restless and the farmer texted that he has a 4 point on his sights. I hear Clay in the bathroom so I go to see what he is up to. He is in the bathtub and his iPad is sitting beside the tube wet. Panic hits me hard. He has already destroyed one iPad by giving it a bath a few years ago. I pick it up and turn it off immediately. I took it out of its survivor case and start drying it off. During this time I hear a shot. I assume the farmer shot the deer. I texted him to find out but no answer. I finish drying the case the iPad is not wet but I am scared to turn it back on yet. I get Clay dried off and clothes on and get him happy.

I had a quick cry... I am so emotional. I have a so alone feeling. I feel like a failure. I know that I am reading these books trying to boost myself. I know I am not suppose to feel self hate, self pity and why me? I know God don't want to hear my negativity. I am sorry. I should not even be posting this. I am a strong woman and I will get over it. I know that God is with me.

I am in a Mommy's Group at church. I know my children are grown but you also know that they have Fragile X Syndrome. So they need constant guidance.

Anyway the lady that leads the group sent this to us today to read. I have just now had a chance to read it and it really boosted my mood.

http://www.joshuastraub.com/blog/2015/11/why-raising-thankful-children-matters

Did you know being grateful has the same effect on the brain as the antidepressant Wellbutrin? 

Know what Prozac does? It increases serotonin. So does gratitude. 

Asking and answering, “What am I grateful for?” especially when we’re ready to complain, makes us happier.

Food choice were not great today. Still trying to get my water in.

Mindset shift #1 You are not alone.

Just remember this: You are not alone in this fight. God is with you

Joshua 1:9 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Day 1 of getting my mindset for weight loss success

         I am so thankful that God is in my life and through a friend he has introduced me to this wonderful author Kimberly Taylor. I just found another book that I think I could use in my new christian weight loss journey. When I read the book Food Triggers it got me reconnected with God and made me understand food addictions are like drug and alcohol or any other kinds of things that are addictive. I have to admit though before I started reading Kimberly Taylor book I did not truly understand how you could possible use God's help on a weight loss journey. I like how she describes that our bodies our temples and that we should do everything in our power to keep it healthy. She is not telling us that God cares what size we our he loves us no mater what.


I have had a good day mentally but I could have done better with my eating.

Breakfast: Protein Cranberry Almond Oatmeal
Lunch: Smartone Roasted Herb Chicken
Supper: 4 Zaxby chicken fingers and 2 slaws
Snack: sugar free fat free banana pudding, peppermint patty, some dry frosted flakes, 1/2 bag popcorn


I have not exercise or have I drank enough water. Snacks are what I need to get under control.

I got to go shopping today and got me some new tops and some legging with a sweater dress. This helped my feelings a lot. I don't like to shop but when I find something I like and looks alright on me it makes me happy.

Deep...

Do you ever want to write a blog post but just end up deleting it. I have started a entry 4 times in the last 2 weeks and I have deleted all of them. I have to admit that I am in a fog. It is like I am living and our life is going right on but not me.

My mother in law has had sciatica nerve in her back this started the end of August. The sciatica turned into shingles that happened in October. Next she got bronchitis which turned into pneumonia. That put her in the hospital for a week and today is the first day she has been released to go out in  the world but I worry that she did to much.

The Farmer's grandma has had some mini strokes that put her in the hospital and ending up with her being put into a rest home. During all of this the Farmer's uncle has been diagnosed with stage 4 small cell lung cancer and has not been given long to live. I have also been worried about my aunt Betty taking care of her husband. He has been diagnosed with Alzheimer  and Palsy. He is now in a wheel chair. She lives to far away to help her out. I hate that my family is so far away and that all I have is excuses why I can not visit. Mind you they are true excuses. We are chicken farmers and we are only out of chicken for about 3 weeks before we get more. During the time we are out we have to get ready to get chickens back.

Also we have the dreaded fragile x that looms over us at times. I have been proud of them both lately being able to go into the hospital to visit mamaw and rest home to visit grandma. Today was not a good day of fragile x for my youngest and he had a meltdown because I could not get the old laptop to work right to change movies on his iPod up. I have to say I had sort of a meltdown myself.


There is so much going on in the world that is crazy. So many friends being diagnosed with cancer and also people we know from tv. I dislike election years and all of the debates and lies that we have to listen to.


So when I whine and feel like crap I feel horrible because so many others are suffering and sick. I feel selfish and depressed. I have been feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I can feel myself falling back into the rut of anger and harden heart. I am still reading my bible but I have skipped a day. I know that is not a sin but I don't want to be slack. I have been trying to pump myself back up. I have been reading daily devotions. I am grateful and I thank God everyday for everything he does for me and my family. I pray everyday for his guidance, his support and protection. I know that I will get through this with his help.

Oh yeah I changed the tile of my blog because I once again am trying to commit to getting healthy by the time I am 50. I am reading a new book Daily Weight loss Scriptures 30 daily devotionals for weight loss motivation. I am hoping by the first of the year I can get myself together and get the scales moving down again. I am still working on the Trim Healthy Mama, with a little weight watchers and counting calories all mixed together. I am not walking as much as I was with the weather changing and my mood. I feel like I make 1 step forward and 3 steps back. Oh well I am starting to ramble.

Thanks for stopping by.
God be with you all and pray for me and I will pray for you

Writing Challenge Days 8, 9, and 10

Day 8: A Book I loved and One that I don't love

I would have to say my favorite author is Nicholas Spark. I love his books and have read all of the ones he has out except the newest one. I can not pick just one that I love more than another. I can not remember a name of a book that I just hate. I have started several over the years I just never got into and did not finish reading. I can say one of my favorite children book is "Are You My Mother" PD Eastman. I know this book by heart.


Day 9: Your Feeling on Ageism


I had to look this word up.

Ageism (also spelled "agism") is stereotyping and discriminating against individuals or groups on the basis of their age. This may be casual or systematic. The term was coined in 1969 by Robert Neil Butler to describe discrimination against seniors, and patterned on sexism and racism.
I can say that after looking the word up I do not like it. I don't like anything that discriminates against or bullies anyone. We are all God's Children and he loves each and everyone  of us. So what gives any mortal on earth the power to treat anyone less than themselves.  
In reality we should all honor the older population and try to learn life lessons from their experienced years. I wish everyday that I would have asked my grandmothers more questions and documented in some way to always remember. I find it so sad that people give up, push aside or not even acknowledge what an older adult has to offer in society. We all need to advocate for them. Prisoners are treated better for free than what senior citizens are treated. So many do with out and die with out a tear shed. How sad.


Day 10: A Fruit that you dislike
I do not like avocados.  I personally think they taste like dirt. 


Alright after catching up on the writing challenge I am not a writer and I know that I never will be. I don't have what it takes to draw out or make a story interesting, but I do love to try. 

Writing Challenge days 4, 5, 6, and 7

Day 4: 10 Interesting Facts About Me

1. That I have very good intentions but I don't always follow through with them or it may take me awhile but I will get to them.

2. That deep inside I am really not as independent as I would like to think I am or that others think I am.

3. That a lot of time of feel alone and that I am learning to trust that God is always with me that he is never leaving me alone.

4. That the R-Word offends me and I hate to hear people say it. (retard)

5. That I hate going to the funeral home because it brings back to many memories of my parents.

6. That I want a house dog or cat so bad I could cry.

7. That I love shoes but hate buying them because my foot is so big. Size 11 by the way.

8. That I read my Bible everyday and pray for everything...

9. That I wish that bulling and hatred was a thing of the past.

10. That I wish I could do more but I don't know how.



Day 5: A Place you would love to live but have never visited

I have always thought I would love to live in Colorado. I have never been there but the pictures on tv are beautiful. I was dreamed as a child leaving in a log cabin looking out over the mountain. I have never been there and now days I am not so sure I would want to live there for the fact that marijuana is legal. Oh well. I would really rather stay in NC and visit the mountains and go to the beach.


Day 6: Someone Who Fascinates Me and Why?


I would have to say that my children fascinate me more than anyone. I would love to be inside their heads for one day trying to figure out exactly what makes them tick. I would love to see how the wheels are turning when they have something on their minds and trying to figure out the best way to communicate it to us. I know that it would hurt me if I could really do this because I might find out things I really don't want to know.

I loved my job working with disabled students and seeing the joy in their eyes when it clicks. The pride they have and the joy that it gives me. I hope that in God plan for me that I will get to do this again one day.

Day 7: Tattoos you have and meanings

I don't have a tattoo and I never plan on having one. If I did get one I would want a symbol of fragile x honoring my boys.

Day 3: First Love or First Kiss....

I don't have a memory of this. I don't have any cute stories of childhood loves or crushes. I will share this one story with you that has always stuck in my mind. I was in jr. high school and we lived in Rockingham. My mom did her grocery shopping at Bi-Lo grocery store and I loved going with her because back then we had bag boys. Some really cute bag boys. I would beg my mom everyday to go to the grocery store to see the boys. I know I drove her crazy but one day the cutes one kissed me in the bathroom and I was so giddy that I know I was glowing when I walked out. My mom thought I was crazy, but I never forgot.....

Day 2 My Earliest Memory....

A memory.... let see. I have a tiny brief memory of falling down the babysitters stairs and breaking my collar bone when I was two. I think most of my memories come from when I was 4-5 years old living in Ramsuer. We lived in a blue and white single wide trailer. I had a dog name brownie and my dad had horse and I had a pony. There are a lot of memories of playing and have fun out in the country.

I remember one time I decided I wanted to ride my pony. Daddy was not at home and mama was in the house. I went outside my pony just happened to be standing at the gate in the pasture. I climb up on the gate and got on him. He walked around for a minute and decided to go into the barn where he decided to stop right behind my dad's big horse. My dad had taught me not to stand behind a horse because it would kick you, but my pony would not move. I started screaming for my mama to come and rescue me. I was screaming and crying by the time she heard me and came and rescued me. I was not in any real danger but I was young and scared.

I also remember a tabby cat that my paw paw gave me. I named him kitty-tom. Paw paw had also gave me a big red flash that I would shine on the wall and kitty tom would chase it. I have hunted for pictures of my pony and the trailer we lived in but without success.

Thanks for stopping by.

Five problems with social media

 I have gotten really slack on doing a blog entry. I found this on Facebook and I decided to do a 30-day writing challenge. I hope that this will help me focus on other areas in my life also.


Five problems with social media is the topic for day one. I think the very first thing is bulling. So many use social media to bully others. They say mean things to people and some of the comments can be so hurtful that it pushes the person to kill either themselves or others. People are have lost their empathy and that is so sad to me.

The second thing wrong with social media is that you find out things on social media before family members or others find out. Everyone has always got a camera and ready to video and post before it is ever known in the news or to family. It has tore apart people lives, put them in jail, loss of jobs and embarrassment because of someone with a camera and social media.

The third thing I find wrong with social media is it is taking away from face to face time with people. Young people do not know how to communicate without a text or through social media. They ask for dates or break up with you and it is all done through technology. People do not know how to carry on a conversation and majority do not even pick a phone up and talk on it anymore. Write a letter on just talk to someone in person. They also losing family time because everyone is using a electronic device and not talking.

The fourth thing I find wrong with social media is a lot of times it makes the world seem a lot better or a lot worse than it really is. A mom that might be struggling trying to be a good mom and do a lot of stuff with their children and family and wanting to publish it on step by step with pictures to do for and the best captions ever to make their family look the best. It is like a video or photo op every time you turn around. Oh look they have been to the beach, they go somewhere every weekend. Making one jealous and depressed.


The fifth thing I find wrong with social media that it is a distraction in the car while driving. Everyone practically has a internet device in their vehicles and they find it necessary to talk on the phone from the minute they get into the car until they get out. They text, post, snap,  chat and what ever else that can be done on social media. It is so dangerous to be doing all of these things while trying to drive at the sam time. It is scary.

These are the things I find wrong with social media and I am guilty of some of the things myself. Even sitting here blogging is social media time taking away from my family. I would never in my life time ever bully anyone and I would stand up for anyone they is being bully. I hate this evil in the world.  I try hard not to use my phone while I am driving a car. Most of the time I usually use the car as my quite place to think and regroup. I have been guilty of texting instead of calling but a lot of the time it is because the person will not answer the phone. I would always rather talk than text.

I will admit I love Facebook. I have connection with family and friends that I might not ever see or talk to. I have gotten to know a few cousin that I may not have never known if it was not for Facebook. It is a good way to keep up with people and share a little bits and pieces of your lives. I also enjoy it for support and for a stay at home mom and house wife so far it has been a great way to staying connected with the outside world. I know a contradiction  in some sorts. Oh well thinks for reading my  blog.

The weather....The

Well I am so grateful for the rain It has really helped our pastures. They are so much greener. Now maybe the cows will have grass until winter. I am ready to see the sun though. I am missing walking every morning. The rain did cause havoc in so many place in South Carolina. I will be praying for the people that were affected by all of the flooding. We experienced a huge oak tree uprooting in our yard. It was scary because it happened at 1:30 am. The tree landed on our power line that runs to our house. The line broke and landed on top of our house and was laying in the yard right beside the house. I had to call 911 to find out what we needed to do. The power company showed up and fixed the line and everyone was safe. So thankful for the fire department and the linemen who came out in the rain to fix it all.

Udder Mama has been in the mud.

The big tree

took up the cotton bushes as well

The hole and roots. 

Now for the clean up. The Farmer has been working all day to get it all cleaned up. 

I have started a new journey. I am trying hard to find my happy healthy self. I saw on the news tonight about 365 days of Joy. I know that it is not possible to be happy everyday all day long but I can find some Joy and something to be Thankful for everyday. I am also going to try real hard to lose the rest of the weight I need to lose. I am going to try Trim Healthy Mama. 

Thanks for stopping by. 

Around the farm

Not much going on around here on the farm. It has been so dry that our pasture looked like it has been plowed up because the grass is so dry. We have been feeding the cows and they are spoiled rotten. Even Jimmy has let the Farmer pet him on the head.

We found the chicken a home. Her name is Ellie Mae. I finally took a  picture of her. She had started roosting on the bobcat

It has been raining since Thursday and today is Monday. I will not complain about the rain because we so much needed it. I am lacking in my steps though. I got myself a Garmin tracking watch. My app that I was using to track my miles along with listening to KLove radio app almost used all of my data for the month of August so I decided to get me the watch. 

I am still not on track with my eating yet. I tried to do better today but I have still eaten over my calories. I would love to get totally back on track We will see. 

Well I guess that is all I have got. I wish I had more to talk about. 

I will close for now thanks for stopping by.

Promises and Prayers

I was so happy that I got down below 200 pounds that I have gained it back making me all mad with myself. Weight loss is a struggle that some people have to struggle with every second of every day!!! I can not let myself get out of control any longer. I have been out of control every since my sons birthday on September 7th. I have been eating way to much. Starting in the morning for 30 days I am going to make some real changes. I am setting some new goals and I am going to stick to them the whole time with no excuses. I am beginning to think I am the queen of excuses and I have got to change my way of thinking. This is so hard and so sad that I feel like I can not even commit to something for 30 whole days but I am really going to try hard!!!

Here are my goals: 

1. I will not eat over my 1200 calories for any reason.

2. I will drink 120 oz. of water a day.

3. I will walk everyday but one I will rest.

4. I will track and write down every piece of food I put in my mouth.

5. I will blog this everyday for the 30 days.

Ok that is my goals I hope that this will be a success.


This was written Sunday night to begin on Monday morning. I have not eaten 1200 calories since I tried to make this commitment. I have picked up on my walking again but my eating is out of control. I feel terrible. Right now I have heart burn, I feel like a blowed up tick and I am really hating on myself for not being able to mentally be able to do this. I hate that my brain can take over in such negative ways. Why is it so easy to be negative and so hard to stay positive? I read blogs I have friends, and we all seem to be going through the same things. Do men have this same problem? Is it a woman thing?

This brings up this bible verse:

Philippians 4:6-7New Living Translation (NLT)

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

A book I have been reading tells me to pray instead of turning to food. Sometimes this just feels wrong. Prayer sometimes feels like it needs to be on more important things. My weight issue is important to me but is it important to God? 

Pray Pray Pray

Thanks for listening to me whine and I pray that I will one day get my mind together and drive out the negative.

Grape picking....

I got to go pick grapes Tuesday with grandma, aunt Barbra and Thelma. We had a great time. I did not get no pictures of anyone but grandma. I wanted pictures of her because she is 94 years old. I love grapes and I picked 17 pounds. I gave the Farmer's uncle around a pound of them and my family ate the rest. We finished them off today. I am ready to go pick some more.

A lot of stuff has been going on since my last post. My uncle's wife passed away on September 4th and my dad's first cousins wife died on the same day. I did not go to either funeral. I did not really know my cousins wife well and I was not able to go to my uncle's wife. 

We have been getting a little rain around here the last few days. Farmer has been busy cleaning out the chicken houses and mowing. He had to buy a new lawnmower the old one finally wore slap out on the deck. I will have to try and get a picture of it. We also have a chicken living up at the compost building. We have tried to give her away but no one wants her. Maybe we will find her a home before we get new chickens. I don't have a picture of her yet either. Here is a picture of one of my cocks combs. This is just one flower isn't it beautiful!

Butterfly

Writing spider

a doe

Well that is about all I have for tonight. Life seems to be a little boring around here. It has been so hot and humid that we don't want to be out much. 

Thanks for stoping by.

Seth's Birthday!!!

Well I could describe step by step how it all went down but I will leave out the gory stuff.  September 6, 1992 I was hugely pregnant with a baby boy! I was not due until the 9th so I did not think a lot about it when we got up that morning. The plan for the day was to go to the hospital and visit my mom then go back to granny Mabe's house and visit with her. Well this day I just did not feel like I could climb the long hill up to the hospital at Pinehurst. So this visit I got the man in the golf cart to take me up. We had a great visit with mom but I just did not feel right. When it was time for us to leave mom said " you might as well stay you will be back down here before long." I told her no it is not time. So we left the hospital and headed to granny Mabes. We had not been there long and granny invited us to eat supper with her. She was having chicken and dumplings. Great Grandpa Banner came in to visit and while he was there my water broke. Sure enough we were headed back to the hospital. Granny Mabe went with us. The Farmer and granny stayed with me the whole time! Well they kept trying to run granny out of the room but she would sneak right back in. At 12:35 on September the 7th my sweet baby boy was born. Happy 23 birthday sweet handsome boy!

This is Seth's 1st birthday!

Seth's 23 birthday!

As August Ends...

Tomorrow is the last day of August. School has started back around here and I am thankful once again that my children are out. I do have to admit that I do sometimes miss teaching and I have been praying if I should go back to college and finish my Special Ed Teaching degree. I just don't know if it is what I should do. I don't want the stress worrying about passing the praxis test over again that including math. I hate math and I am horrible at it. I have considered getting a 4 year degree in Birth thru Kindergarten or even in social service. I just don't know what God's plan is for me and I am not trying to rush him. I know right know that I am suppose to be with my boys and that is what I am doing.

As this month ends I can not help but to think about my mom. August 28 made 22 years that my mom left this earth to be with God in Heaven. I still miss her everyday.

My beautiful mom!!

It is so dry around here. Our pastures are brown with little grass for the cows to eat. We have been buying feed to help them out. There is a chance of rain tonight and tomorrow praying that we get some. Here lately it has been splitting us and going around us. Oh well God will send it when he thinks we need it.

I have not taken many pictures lately just have not been in the mood. I have been walking a lot. A friend of mine wanted to walk a 100 miles for the month of August I have accomplished this. As of tomorrow I should have 107 miles if everything works out. I am so proud of myself. I have lost 2 more pounds making it 5 pounds for August. Yay for me!!  My bible reading is still coming along good. I am on day 308 and I am still enjoying it everyday. I can feel myself being a happier person. It is hard somedays and I really have to work at it. God is good and he helps me find the up in my
downs.

Seth walked a mile with me this morning.

I have plans to go and pick grapes on September 8 with Grandma 94, and her sister and my cousins wife, the same ladies that went with me to pick strawberries. I am excited I love grapes.

Well I will end here and I hope to get some grape picking pictures.
Thanks for stopping by. God Bless.

Photography, Weight loss, and Walking...

I have got to start practicing with my photography again. Every since I took the photography class I have stopped taking pictures of wildlife, my favorite passion. I have been taking pictures of little white churches but I have slowed down doing that. We have been seeing a lot of deer and I hope this means a great deer season for Farmer. Our deer meat lasted until May this year and that was great. I hope that the Farmer gets plenty again this season. I got a picture of two fawns that we have been seeing over close to Troy NC. They are so cute. I did not get them standing together but here they are. 

I was surprised that they turned out clear. I have noticed lately every other picture I take is blurry. Like the picture I posted last post. We went over to the pasture a couple of days ago and we have been noticing two hawks flying around and catching grasshoppers or something. But overtime I have been lately I have not had my camera with me. Well yesterday when we went I had my camera and I got a picture of one of them sitting in the grass eating. 

Isn't beautiful

A butterfly on a wildflower in the pasture

I tried to load a video of all of the grasshopper jumping in the pasture but it will not upload. I have never put a video on here before not sure how to do it. 

Well I am proud to announce that I finally got under 200 pounds. I am so proud of myself and I truly hope that I can keep the scale moving in the right direction. 

I have been trying to walk a little more and eat a lot more veggies. I walked 5 miles Saturday.

I have two prayer request. My moms sister in law is not doing good. She is very sick with COPD and other health issues. Also please pray for the Farmer's uncle. He has been diagnosed with small cell lung cancer and has only been given 7 to 17 months to live. 

Thank you for stopping by. 

Deer, Hawk, Moon and weight loss

We have been seeing a lot of deer even in this hot weather. I have been trying to get some pictures of them but I either don't have my camera or I am so excited I can not get a clear picture.

deer made with phone

another deer made with phone

a group of bucks made with my camera but I was to excited and trying to hurry so it is blurry

Look at his horns!!

A hawk landed in the tree right in from of us but he would not move his head out from behind the leaves

More deer made phone.

I also got some really good pictures of the full moon the other night. 

I have been dieting and walking like crazy again I really wish sometimes I was not so competitive. I have walked a blister on my toe today. I managed to get a little over 6 miles in today. I also got 21,852 steps in today. I am wore out. I have lost 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks. I am so pleased that the scales have finally moved. I just hope that I will keep it up!! 

Well thanks for stopping by. 

God bless