Thursday, March 22, 2018

All about my struggles

I guess you can say this is a blog entry about admitting what I don't want to admit. I have and addiction with food. I am so disappointed in myself that I don't have any "SELF DISCIPLINE" I used  to commit to lose weight and stick to a eating plan. I can not stick to weight watchers or counting calories and the scales are showing. I was so proud getting into my 180's and I have allowed myself to get back in 190's. I am so disappointed in myself. I am defeating all of my hard work on working out everyday for an hour. I feel like a failure. I know a lot of women struggle with weight and food issue but I really want to get to my goal and not just talk about it anymore. I heard some hard truth today and it hit hard. Do you really need to eat two eggs and grits. Why not just one egg?  Did you really need the 90 calorie brownie? I was up to my calorie intake for the day and What did I do I ate a slice of pizza, bread sticks, doritos, 2 mini dark chocolate candies and NO I did not stop there I had a chocolate pop tart. My brain tells me to stop eating but then I tell my self who cares??? It is not going to hurt you. You exercised you deserve it. But I don't I have got to stop telling myself this. I have got to be smart. I have not lost any weight in a year and kept it off. I only have 30 or 35 pounds I want to lose. I can not even tell that I have lost any inches in a long time. My thighs still touch, My belly is still to many inches around. I know what to do but I always have excuses! I have also gotten slack with my daily devotions and bible reading. I know better I wanted to get closer to God this year and I have let LIFE drag me down. I have fallen back into my pity parties, I worked so hard with God's help to pull be back out of this dark place. I don't like it I don't want to fall all the way into it ever again. So please pray for me.

Thank you for listening to me whine.

Friday, March 16, 2018

Planting potatoes.

The Farmer has been itching to plant potatoes. He has been watching the weather for the perfect day and today was the day. 

The Farmer plowing

Farmer and Seth planting potatoes 

Farmer and Seth planting potatoes 
Rows of potatoes I hope they all come up.

We also planted some red onion sets. I did them and I did not think to take a picture of them. I hope they come up I am not a very good green thumb person. I forgot in the last post to tell about the female red bird that hit our bay window and stunned itself. It was on Monday when we were getting the snow and rain mixture. It made me sad because I thought for sure it was going to die.  I picked her up and wrapped my hands around it to get it warm. I sit it over close to a bush that is next to the house. I kept checking on her until she finally disappeared so I assumed she gathered herself and flew off. I never saw her again 

It has been a good day. My sister and nephew had a birthday on the 14. I wish they lived closer to me so I could see them more often. I love them dearly. 

Well I will close nowThanks for stoping by. 


Thursday, March 15, 2018

Hard Week....

Well this has been a hard week. Sunday a man that lives in the neighborhood broke into grandmas house. He busted out the window pane on the door and went in packing up stuff in totes. He had already loaded grandpas tool box, Farmers drill, and some other things out of the building. He had crazy stuff packed up in the house but the Farmer went out there and caught him before he got away. He called the police and had him arrested. He did not get anything but it was stressful on me and the Farmer. The Farmer worked for 3 days getting stuff cleaned up and put back up.

25 years ago on the 12th of March my daddy passed away. These memories aways make me sad. There are so many thing I wish I had asked and wish I had done. My daddy passed away at the age of 48 and that was way to young. He only meet my oldest son the day he was born. My daddy came to the hospital to visit me and that made me so happy. This is the only time he ever meet any of his grandsons. He would have been so proud to have 6 grandsons all together.  This is probably one of the last pictures of my daddy with his children before he passed away. I miss him so much.

Also my cow mama's calf died. We think mama may have had some green grass poison that kept her milk from dropping. We were trying to feed the little calf to keep it alive but it did not work. 
Our other cow Bugsy had a calf but I just have not cared to go out and get a picture yet. 

I have also been so discouraged with my self and my lack of will power to eat healthy. I am on day 54 of my 80 day obsession workout and I have not lost a pound because of my mood or mentality. It is like I don't really care when I do. I am 4 days into Phase 3 of it and I am so sore today I can barely sit down on the toilet. I have even been considering to actually joining weight watchers but I know that I will just be wasting my money. I really wish that changing the way you think was easier than just saying it. Oh well I have gotten slack on my devotion reading, and my bible reading so that is probably  one of my biggest problem. I should always put God first in everything. 

Thanks for listening to me whine. With Gods help I will get bak on track. Please pray for me.

Thursday, February 22, 2018

A new calf

My cow mama had a new calf this week.

I have not been able to get a good picture of it yet. Our bull Jimmy is very protective of his babies and does not like it when I take pictures of them. 

The Farmer has been busy cleaning the chicken houses getting them ready to get new chicks. I took a picture of him while I was out walking yesterday. He was washing fans.

It was a pretty evening for a walk.

I have been trying to get my 11,000 step goal in this week and I have accomplished it everyday this week so far. It has been a while since I have done my steps. I am not as motivated to get my steps like I was when I first got my fitbit. I used to be so competitive but not as much anymore. Well not much going on around here. Stop for stoping by

Friday, February 16, 2018

Feels like spring

It has been so nice outside. My youngest son loves it when we are cleaning out the chicken houses. It is his favorite thing besides swinging. The Farmer is almost done with getting out the extra litter and then it will be time to get them ready for new biddies.

The Farmer got the gardens spots plowed out at grandmas house getting them ready to plant some potatoes and we are going to try some red onions. I have also talked the Farmer in to planting me some beets this year. I love gardening time. 

The potato patch spot

The garden spot 

I also found a little bunch of daffodils blooming.

Here is my youngest son wearing his dad's goggles. 

I have really got to get committed to weight watchers and plan a lot better. I love the plan but I have been cheating so much I have not lost any weight on it yet and I have been on it for a month. I have got to stop telling myself I can eat that I workout hard today I deserve it. When in reality I am sabotaging all my efforts of exercise by going crazy in the kitchen. We have eat out way to much this week but i love me a cheeseburger all the way from our local family restaurant. 

I ended up eating all of my fries instead of the few I took a picture of.

I also made a 0 point cheese cake today. I thought it was yummy.

Here is the recipe 

I got this recipe from Fit and Fabulous Mom. 

Well thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed my post.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Valentines Day

It has been a good day on the farm. We had to have the chicken houses wind-row because of the sickness that we had. They have to stay closed up in a heat.

The floors are in rows It is kinda of hard to tell in the pictures. I think that tomorrow we got permission to start cleaning some of it out. We had planned to clean out all the way I guess it will have to wait. 

Now to on to Valentines. The farmer got us sub from subway and some orange slices candies. We got the boys pizza from Dominos. They love pizza. Well later in the day we all got to craving chocolate. We have not eaten chocolate since January and we have broke it today. Even Clay who don't like sweets asked for chocolate today. 

I had 6 of them and it was 14 smart points

I ate the whole foot long sub and it was 16 smart points

I did not even count the points on this but they were mini's

I have to say I am way over my points today. I did get my exercise in. I am into phase 2 on the 80 day Obsession. Today was really hard for me. I was interrupted having to help with my youngest son several times during the hour long exercise. It took me and hour and half to get it done. I had to stop or push pause several times to get all the reps in and some of those I still did not get them in. I have a hard time doing a sliders frogs, and slider pikes. I struggled so much that it made me cry. I got emotional. I am not going to giving up I will get stronger. I feel like if I could get my eating under control and lose some more weight that it will help with accomplishing my exercise goals. I have low upper muscle tone but I getting stronger. 

This is after todays workout. I was a total mess.

Well that is enough about nothing. Thanks for stoping by.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Stuff that has been going on around the farm...

We finally got rid of the chickens. This was a terrible flock. The cold weather used a lot of fuel. They got sick at the end of the flock and we lost a lot of chickens. It has stressed the Farmer and me worrying about how everything is going to end. We had our taxes done this past Friday and it was not good. . Because of all the stress I have been craving sweets and I have done my share in eating. We had Dairy Queen mini blizzards, doughnuts from this great doughnut shop in Asheboro. Then I got to craving apple pie and ice cream. I have been eating it for 2 days and now it is gone. My scales have only been going up and down. I lose 3 pounds and then gain it back. I just finished the first phase of 80 day Obsession. I am going to measure tomorrow and see if I have lost any inches. I don't feel like I have especially after all the sweets I have ate this week. Oh well tomorrow starts phase 2 and I am going to lose some weight and for it to stay off before the end of February.

We have two antique malls that we like to go to. One of them is in Albemarle and the other one in Siler City. We got to hit both this weekend. I found me a new baby doll I feel in love with. It says she is a collector item. I looked her up on line and she is 179$ I got her for 45. I know this sounds crazy to me that I spent this kind of money on a doll but I just wanted her. I told myself I was to old to spend money like this on baby dolls but I could not help myself. She reminds me of a doll Henny Penny got at Good will. I told her when she gets tired of her she can pass her to me. I think my baby needs a pretty little dress to wear.

I had the Farmer to take a picture of me the other day. I could not get over how much I like like my dear aunt Henny Penny. 

Oh yeah I have been trying some new recipes. I like to cook new stuff that is tasty.

Hamburger mushroom bake

Spaghetti squash with ff Alfredo sauce and veggies.

Egg muffin omelettes 

Roasted veggies baby carrots, sweet potatoes, turnips, red onions, and beets.
Deer meat burritos and a salad

This is 1 point biscuits 1 cup non fat greek yogurt and 1 cup flour

I will stop here I think that is about all I have got. Thanks for stopping by.