Dear Fat lady,

Dear Fat lady, I have changed the title of my post because I have become such a fat lady. I am so angry at myself and I love to eat! I have been doing exercise and I have been trying to eat better but NO weight has came off!! I am so discouraged. I am fatter than I have ever been in my whole life!! Why do I let my life totally fall apart? Why can't I really get control of my self. I need to try something different something to open my eyes and see the skinny lady that is inside me shriveling up because the fat lady is winning a little more everyday! Will she have the strength to reenter this world? Please Fat Lady leave!!!

 

Day 4

Today we added dirt to our flower bed and I planted my 3 herbs , mint, basil, and sage. I am trying to figure out what else I want to add to it. Today I did my 30 day shred, and we took a short walk outside I have tried to write down everything I have eaten today. Arline emailed me to see how I am coming along on the diet, I told her I am trying harder than I was. I have really let myself go to crap!! I finally got brave and got out the tape measure to see how big around I have gotten!! OOOO my Gosh!! Then later this evening I was looking at myself in the mirror to see how horrible I look. I washed my face, added some oil of olay to my face, and brushed my teeth but my hair is horrible I need a new look. I looks so old, so fat so like my mom and my cousin that looks like my mom. I am sick of my self. This summer is a find me again summer and try to keep it up.

Summer day 3

Today is starting off pretty good. I got up at 7:30 ate a little breakfast, Reese's cereal. Yummy! I check emails, facebook, then I downloaded a sample of 50 shades of grey. I read this 2 chapters to see what all the hype of the book was about. Sounds pretty good I might have to get this book. I called Judy and talked to her a few minutes while I straighten the kitchen up. After I cleaned the kitchen I went did the 30 day shred I can feel my endurance building up. I have really got to get in better shape for my health. I am fatter than I have ever been even pregnant. I am so ashamed of myself for letting my self get this way. I have let myself get so. I am so tired. I went outside today and Frankie and I worked on my new flower bed/rock wall. I am excited about it. Tomorrow we will add dirt and maybe some plants. I worked hard and do some sweating. I hope that this will help me lose some weight this summer. We cooked hamburgers on the grill for supper and we bought some new cheese Velveeta Queso Blanco It is soooo good. Well I guess I will post now and I will try to add pictures tomorrow.

2nd day of summer break

Today is 2nd day of summer break. So far so good. Monday, we went and had the car serviced. The boys and Frank got a hair cut. Tuesday we went to Callicutts greenhouse and it was closed so we went to PR Moore's and got some squash, zucchini, cucumbers, peaches, and I got some basil, sage, and mint. Tomorrow I we are going to try to get some rocks to start my new flower bed. We are going to mix the dirt and put it around the other flowers. I am really looking forward to working in the yard. I just hope that it don't get so humid and hot that I can not stand it. LOL I have been doing my 30 day shred 2 times I guess I should say I have heartily did the video Sunday and fell asleep on the floor before finishing. I was exhausted. Then I skipped Monday but today I did the exercise right. I have not eat the best today but not horrible either. Oh well, I will start trying to take a picture of the things that we do during the day.  

Beginning of Summer

Well today is the start of my summer break. I am so ready but now is crunch time to get off some of this weight I have put on along with Seth. I don't want are health to go to crap. I have a lot of emotions this summer break. Last summer break the teacher in the classroom retired in February and we were without a teacher the rest of the summer. School started back with a new teacher that was a nightmare. She ended up quitting in December and did not come back after Christmas break. The best part of all of this we had a great substitute Mrs. Scotton. This is lady is absolutely God sent. She, I and Mr. Cheek have had some really great times in the classroom.  Now we are at summer break again and Mr. Cheek is retiring . He has been working with my boys for 6 years and with me for the past 2 yrs. I am going to miss him dearly. A lot has happen this school year from all of us gaining weight because we do eat to much! LOL!! We got a new student that we absolutely love. He is so wonderful! Seth received the very 1st Mustang Way Award and made me one proud mother. Mr. Absher announced that he is retiring which is sad he has been with me at North Moore since I started working there and with Seth. I have mixed emotions on not letting Seth graduate with his class but now I am glad since he got this award. Oh well graduation was last night and it was bitter sweet because of the fact that Mr. Absher was the class speaker and this made it even more special. Oh well. I better stop typing and get up and clean my nasty house I might come back and write more later. I have so much more to say.

Memorial Weekend

Well I have had a pretty good long weekend. School is slowly coming to an end. There is only 9 more days for me to work. I am looking forward to not having to get up early and being home this summer but I am going to have to find something I can do that is cheap, that me and the boys can do, and find the energy and courage to do it. Today has been a long and depressing day to me. I have not had anyone to talk to on the phone. Clay does not like to do anything out side much and most of the time it is to much trouble to even attempt to take him out side. I really wish I could get us a pool or a pool pass to take us everyday. But I know this is not a reality, because I hate going by myself, and Seth hates going to the pool and clay would eventually get very of sick of it! I hate going to the zoo. So what will we do???

How Sad!!

Well I have been trying to get back to blogging since August and I forgot my password and login and was not able to get on here for nothing. I did lose 25 pounds over the summer and I have official gained it all back plus 4 more pounds. I am fatter now than I was when I had my youngest son 16 years ago. I am so upset but I can not seem to get back on track. maybe if I start blogging again I will be able to get my mind straight. we will see.