When you try to eat healthy ....

Eating healthy has become the hardest thing I have done in a while. I have started a fb page hoping that would motivate me to eat healthy. I am reading devotions on giving it to God and letting him be what you crave. I am still attending WW meetings, in accountable groups, I even have a WW friends that are messaging me trying to help me. But all I am doing is failing. I am so disappointed in myself. It is not helping that this past week that I have been stressed out of my comfort zone. Fragile X has been hitting hard at my house this week with bad behavior and meltdowns. The world seem s to be off it rocker and I know it is going to get worse before it gets better. Then things on the farm have not been the best either with stuff breaking and other stuff. I trust God has got us and will get us through the trail and error.

My WW coach thinks my problem is that I have lost my motivation to eat healthy. This is very possible but I don't know how to get it back. I pray about it I talk about it, I write about it but that is not getting it done. I use to want someone to make me angry but I am not sure that would help. I often wonder if I would stop exercising and just focus my nutrition. The last time I did WW strictly and lost a lot of weight I got to about the same place I am now. I was exercising every day. Walking 4 miles and lifting weights. I had to stop because the boys were little then and school got out for the summer. That summer  I got 3 pounds from my goal weight and I stopped going to WW and started gaining it back. I am so scared to stop exercising worried I will not ever start back. That I might get flabby and lots of lose skin. I really wish I had the answers. I feel like I am just venting but I really need guidance. I will continue praying and maybe soon the answer will be clear!! Thanks for listening.

When you have ideas....

Hey everybody. I really want to start videoing myself and life on the farm, weight loss and fragile x. I have become addicted to youtube videos. But I am scared. The first thing is I hate to hear myself talk. I love the videos of people on their farms and homesteads. I love Cog Hill Farm, This farm wife, Sandy Brook sheep farm and Stoney Ridge farm. to just name a few. I want to be inspirational to people. But I am scared. I love watching instagram stories for the WW ambassadors,  I love following and watching Kara with Wellness Witness. She is a fitness teacher, gospel preacher. I love her podcast. The last one I listen to was about "What is my calling and what do I do next?"

https://www.wellnesswitness.com/podcast/21

This is the podcast if you want to listen to it. It is so inspiring. I listen to this one the other day and it inspired me to bible journal.

I am now just rambling like I have no idea what I am talking about. I started a fb page about Losing my last 25 pounds. But I feel like it is just boring and I have tried to make a video and I am so inexperienced it was horrible.

Oh well I wish I had something more interesting to talk about. I am just talking out what is in my head. I am going to keep praying about it and see if this is really a calling I am feeling or not?

Thanks for stopping by if you read this far.