All about my struggles

I guess you can say this is a blog entry about admitting what I don't want to admit. I have and addiction with food. I am so disappointed in myself that I don't have any "SELF DISCIPLINE" I used  to commit to lose weight and stick to a eating plan. I can not stick to weight watchers or counting calories and the scales are showing. I was so proud getting into my 180's and I have allowed myself to get back in 190's. I am so disappointed in myself. I am defeating all of my hard work on working out everyday for an hour. I feel like a failure. I know a lot of women struggle with weight and food issue but I really want to get to my goal and not just talk about it anymore. I heard some hard truth today and it hit hard. Do you really need to eat two eggs and grits. Why not just one egg?  Did you really need the 90 calorie brownie? I was up to my calorie intake for the day and What did I do I ate a slice of pizza, bread sticks, doritos, 2 mini dark chocolate candies and NO I did not stop there I had a chocolate pop tart. My brain tells me to stop eating but then I tell my self who cares??? It is not going to hurt you. You exercised you deserve it. But I don't I have got to stop telling myself this. I have got to be smart. I have not lost any weight in a year and kept it off. I only have 30 or 35 pounds I want to lose. I can not even tell that I have lost any inches in a long time. My thighs still touch, My belly is still to many inches around. I know what to do but I always have excuses! I have also gotten slack with my daily devotions and bible reading. I know better I wanted to get closer to God this year and I have let LIFE drag me down. I have fallen back into my pity parties, I worked so hard with God's help to pull be back out of this dark place. I don't like it I don't want to fall all the way into it ever again. So please pray for me.

Thank you for listening to me whine.