Weight entry.....

Well here it is May 12 and I have not lost anything since Christmas. I know why because I have not been  committed  to eat healthy. It is getting close to time to wear shorts and sleeveless shirts and i am still over 200 pounds. I have started reading this book called "Made to Crave Satisfying your Deepest Desires with God and Not Food" by Lysa Terkeurst. I like that she reminds us that we need to find your "Want to". Why do you want to lose the weight? I really just want to be healthier for myself. It is not about looking good it is more about feeling better. I really feel like if I lost 60 more pounds that I would feel better. My knees, my feet, and acid reflux. The author also made me think about how God made us to crave. She also asked this question "Is it possible we love and rely on food more than love and rely on God?" Think about it. I do plan most of my days on what will I eat today. What am I going to fix for supper. I can not wait to get a drink and a candy bar or my favorite lets go get something for supper then I don't have to worry about cooking.

I am so good at giving excuses or just saying who cares when I know in my heart that I care and God cares. Also I would love to find a easy way out or that it would just happen because I walked 3 miles twice a week and I log my food on my fitness pal. But nothing changes. I love this "We want the results but have no desire to put in the work required." That is me... I am not totally giving up unhealthy foods for healthy ones to lose the weight. I may stay in my calorie range but have not eat any veggies. Or just eating way over my calories one day and doing better the next day but then that never happens.

I need to pray! I need to turn to God when I am feeling sad, mad, or just not caring if I eat or not. I need to pray for guidance and courage and strength to do this. I have really been working on my relationship with God, praying more, reading the bible and my daily devotions. I have been taking pictures more, staying outside more and really working on my spiritual self but I have been neglecting my getting healthy and trying to take care of myself. I have been trying to work on my mind and my anger. Trying to get through issues that I did not want to admit that were bothering me. I have been searching and reading stuff trying to find the answer to my weakness to give in to food. I am hoping that by turning to God that I will find the answers to all of my questions.

Those of you that read my blog please pray for me.
Thank you for stopping by.