Dat 13 Don't Look Back

Well my challenge for today is to not look back at all of the things that I regret or that I could have done different. Oh I have many things that I could have done different or wish I never did at all or even wonder why did I do or start this? I try to look at some of them as life's little lessons, such as my 1st marriage. Other things like money decisions. I am horrible at managing money. I wish when I lost 60 lbs 6 years ago I would have kept if off instead of gaining it all back plus 10 more pound taking me the whole 6 years to do it but I did!!! Not going to college when I was young instead of trying to do it now with a family, a job and being old and tired.(not to old LOL). One more look back decision I made and still not sure if it was the right one is school decisions for my boys. Alright the second part of the challenge is to vow to God not to let these mistakes to dictate your life today. So my vow is to be the best person I can be NOW and for the rest of time. We are only human and we are suppose to make mistakes and learn from them. My life's little lesson I really feel like God helped with the this decision and sent me in the right direction with it. I asked him for forgiveness an I know in my heart he answered this prayer. As far as the decision I have made in my children's life I feel like God helped me with this also because after getting the Fragile X diagnoses I gave my children to God and asked him to help me be their earthly mom. As for the weight gain this is ridiculous and I worry that maybe I just am not suppose to be skinny healthy or feel good about myself. No I don;t really believe this. I don't feel like this is something that I need to be bothering God with but maybe it is. Sometimes I thing I have convinced myself that I am suppose to be like my mother. That I am not suppose to be happy, lose weight and keep it off, be healthy, and die young. These words hurt my heart and soul as I think them or type them. I need to be healthy and be her as long as possible for my boys. I don't want to leave them until I am really old I mean really, really old. So please Dear God, I pray that you help me get healthy and stay that way for me and my family. Please help me be the best person I can be for my family, friends, and my job. Please help me find that happy place and stay in that zone more than my pity party zone. Please help me be a strong woman, and take care of the people I love but most important take care of me.

Amen

1 Corinthians 6: 15, 19-2015 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.