Support... I must ponder on this for a while. Maybe not. I have always needed support in every aspect of my life. I always tell my husband, siblings, mother-in-law and friends I am very needy. I feel like most people think that I am out going and independent but deep in side this is not the case. I need support when it comes to advice, diet, my children, my life, and everything else. A lot of times I feel all alone and that no one completely understands me. I have days where I don't know why I even try. Sometimes life gets me down even the simple little things push me off the deep end. I sometimes wonder if I need to be on anti-depressants because I do feel depressed sometimes. When it comes to diet I need a mind set, I need a buddy to talk to every day and I need someone to exercise with. I feel like this is why I am not having any success right now. But then again when I do have someone I cheat if that person is losing and I am not. I know that this sound selfish but I don't quite understand it myself. I have come to find out though that the older I get and my boys get, I have less and less friends and opportunities to do anything on my own. Here I go sounding selfish again but facts or facts. It is hard to be me!! Instead of like Gene Simmons would say it is good to be me!! LOL. I even feel like God lets me down sometimes even though I really know better. It is like a friend said on her blog "When no one else understands". This is some parts of her blog that I can really associate with.
1. Joy FM played the song "Jesus Will." The lyrics say, "when no one else
understands how you feel, Jesus will." This morning, I'll admit, that
made me mad. I thought to myself, "Yeah right! I don't recall the Bible
story where Jesus was working full time and dealing with his three sons
every morning." I only have 2 but I have had these mornings and days when you feel like no one cares.
2. "I was listening to 89.5 today and they were talking about God's anger. I
thought, "why would God be so mean? Why would we want to serve someone
that was so easily angered?" After a minute, I realized that He should
get mad at us. He gives us all we that we need and we're being
ungrateful children by not listening to what He says for us to do. It's
just like when we get mad at the boys - we give them so much, but they
still disobey us. They want stuff they don't need and it aggravates us.
Same thing with God - He gives us so much, but we disobey. We want stuff
we don't need and it aggravates God. So it makes sense that He'd get
mad at us."
I have really enjoyed reading her blog she is so inspirational and I am enjoying finding new inspirational blog to read to support me.
Like she says: We may live our life's like cows thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the pasture"