Friday, June 22, 2012

Day 4 Dreams and Visions

Today the 90 day challenge is telling me that in the Bible tells us in the last days God will pour His Spirit out on the flesh and that young men will see visions and old men will dream dreams (Acts 2:17). The books thinks the interpretation of this is that young men have visions of where they want to go and what they want to do, like a plan. They old men  have usually accomplish their visions and living their dreams. I am not sure what my view is on this. The book also is telling me to take the time and ask God what his purpose in my life is. I am not sure if I have every asked God what my purpose is. I am  just following the plan day by day I have been trying to live the way my mom try to teach to lets get through today before we worry about tomorrow. I have a hard time doing this because I am always thinking ahead and what is going to happen. Like why am I going to college when I don't know what I am going to be doing in 5 years. Where are the boys going to be and doing when the graduate high school. I know they will still be living with me but I want them to have a program to keep them busy. I worry about where are we going to be as a family next year? What are we going to do about money, taxes, bills and trying to make life as easy as possible for our whole family. I know that I am not suppose to worry and give it all over to God but this is hard. I have had my ups and downs and I know that I have had time that I have been very angry with God and ask way to many questions? I know that I would not be where I am in life today if it was not for God but here again I wonder why he makes life so hard? But is it him that makes life hard or is it the devil (evil spirits) that make life so hard. You watch the news, and listen to the people and how they are leaving God out their lives. The evil, killing, robbing, pornography, and so much more. Oh well I am getting off of my dreams and visions. My dream is I will get my 4yr degree, I will start a program for disabled adults like a day center to work, play, and learn. That my boys will continue learning and growing into the best adults they can be. To write a book, to be healthier, to be truly happy, and not worry. I dream that we will get out of this unbelievable debt and be able to live with out worry on how we are going to pay for something or not to live on credit or not worry. To See The Vision of coming out of this debt and surviving without filing bankruptcy. The dream of living at the beach, working at a day program, not worrying about what will happen to my boys if I was to die. The dream and the vision to me are just dreams and vision and not much of a glimmer of coming true. I think I will go pray and exercise and stop making myself even more depressed. Dream and vision about being healthy even thought in reality I have not control of this either. LOL

Well the day started off rough. I found out because I forgot to send my renewal membership to the teacher assistant with the state that I am about to lose my extra pay that I need bad. I discovered that my youngest son tore up the 3 cases that the videos were in  and hid them. I finally got all of them put back together then I found out that he tore up won of the covers went to print me a new cover and the printer ran out of ink. We were hoping that either Mr. Garner or I would get paid but we didn't. WOW what a morning. But I got everything worked out and I finally got paid and paid all of my bills.

I am suppose to write 5 mini goals to get thiner
1. drink more water
2. exercise at least 5 times a week
3. make better eating choices
4. journal every day
5. most important PRAY

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