Happy New Year 2014!!! Kinda of Long

The new year is here!  I am ready to take it on today and keep up with some things I want to change or accomplish this year. I am not real good at keeping resolutions but I have a few things I want to change in my life I think I can accomplish with God's help!

Mark 10:27  

And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible. King James Version

I read a dear friends blog that told about her year. How she decided not to make a resolution last year but pick a word and try to have this word active in her every day life. So I have decided to do this this year myself. I have thought about my word all new year eve after reading her blog and finally decided to pick the word "BELIEVE". 

Believe: : to accept or regard (something) as true                         

intransitive verb

1

a :  to have a firm religious faith

People who really know me know that I have had me issues on believing that somethings are true. I have to have concrete evidence and then I have to sometimes have more than one kind of evidence. The older I get I feel like I have seen the world in an whole different light. As I think back to being a child I was always exposed to Christian believes and accepted them to all be true. I went to church, bible school, Sunday school, and my parents and grandparents taught me about the bible and to believe. I can not really remember when I got saved but I know that I am. I have asked God many times over my 46 years of life to forgive me of my sins, and come into my heart and save me. I do Believe  all of this to be true!! 

The things I need help in and changing in "Believe" is when I am having a really hard time. Examples: I took a religion class that was required when I was working on my four year education degree. This class really upset me and what I have always believed to be true. It upset me that young innocent students that have not been exposed to so much "political correctness" bureaucracy can be swayed to change what they have been taught as children. This old world exposes us to things that the Bible tells us are sins but they force them in our lives everyday. Lots of people would love to see Christianity smothered out. That the Bible is fiction. Things like this scare me. 

Then I having been talking my children to Sunday school since they were little. I have not always stuck to it because there has been times trying to make your child physically stay at church becomes more than you can bear. I remember praying to please God just let them make it for the 40 minutes that Sunday school lasted. Many time that never happened I would get discouraged and stop going to church. This did not only just happen during Sunday school but VBS, and Childrens Clubhouse.  

I have belief issues with some of the Bible stories. I know "how do you believe in the Bible and then have doubt?" The Bible is always promoting "war" , Moses leading the people to the promise land then not allowing him to enter the promise land because of his doubt. This really scares me.

I want to believe!! I want to believe that I can be a better christian and believe that I will enter heaven. I remember my dad telling that 5 people can be standing in a field and only one will go to heaven. I want to be the one but I don't want the other 4 to be left behind. There just seems to be so much more to get to heaven than just asking God into our hearts and washing away our sins but yet does that mean that people whom drink (alcoholics) that believe in God ask forgiveness and truly mean it. Homosexuals that go to church, pray and believe? 

1 Corinthians 6:9–11

9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. eNeither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor 2homosexuals, nor 3sodomites,10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were fsome of you. gBut you were washed, but you were4sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

I don't feel like I have any right to be talking about the Bible, I don't know a lot about it and I don't read it everyday. I just want to try to implement "BELIEVE" into the next 365 days. 

New Year

Where do I start? 2013 will be gone in 1 hour and 15 minutes and a brand new year will be here. My 2013 year has had its ups and down but I can not complain to much about it. A lot of good memories come to mind when I think of the year. We have paid off some bills this year and got our finances in some sort of order to so that I could quit work and stay home. Seth graduated high school and turned 21!

Clay turned 18 and I took him out of school for good reasons not to be mean to him but to help improve his life. 

I have lost 30 pounds 

I have been married 24 years and love him more and more everyday!  

My brother gave me and my sister the best Christmas presents ever and it made us cry!

We have have had some not so good things this year. My first cousin Chris Hussey passed away. 

I am looking forward to the new year and I am planning on making it a great year!

Welcome 2014!

Stuff

Do you ever have days that just aggravate you? Then the day turns around an relaxes you, have another little blimp and then it is alright. Well today has been one of those days. I had a horrible night, that was my fault. I have not been eating healthy,  keeping track of my calories or exercising. Yesterday was a really bad of eating. I ate way to much junk food especially peanuts. I woke up in the middle of the night I woke up sick with horrible re-flux and indigestion. I also had upset stomach when I got up this morning. Oh well that is enough about my stomach and I am getting back on track.

I had a good time with my mother in law shopping today. I bought some stuff to make a Valentine wreath. I am excited about that. I also got four new ball ornaments that look frosty, and tulle to make a snowman with. I dread talking my christmas stuff down. I think I will do that Thursday.

Short little blog post.

A dear friend and cousin

A few days before Christmas we got a call from my dads first cousin Garland Comer. He called to tell us that he had just gotten out of the hospital and has been diagnosed with liver cancer and the doctor only gave him 10 weeks to live. This makes me so sad. He is such a nice man and I have gotten to know him better in the years that I have been married and live up here where my grandma Jewel was raised. A lot of my family lives in my neighborhood.

Me and Garland at the Kennedy Reunion .

Please anyone who reads my blog please pray for him.

Christmas

Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year as well as the worst. I get so frustrated with it sometimes. As a kid I thought there was nothing like Christmas but I did have some that are very memorable but not like one would think. Most Christmas we had little money, mama would never put the tree up earlier than 2 weeks before Christmas and I don't think there was ever a Christmas that my dad was sober. No this is not a pity blog this was just my childhood and my memories. They are not sad memories just my life. Now that I am a grown and have a family of my own not all of them have been the happiest of all times but they are great memories.

I could not find any of my pictures from my childhood Christmas. This Christmas was pretty good one. We had Christmas with Frank's parents and his sister and her family.

Now I am waiting for my Sister and her family and my brother and his family to come Saturday and my year will be complete.

Trip to Holland....

After my pity post this morning I wanted to share this poem wrote by Emily Perl Kingsley describing her experience in raising a child with a disability.

Hope you enjoy!

this stage in life

When I turned 40 years old it was really hard for me. I never dreamed that I was so much like my daddy and not wanting to get old. I hate that my hair is gray unless I keep color on it. I hate that I have a very hard time losing weight.  Even though I officially hit 30 lbs off mark but I am still fat!! and yes I am still fat because I have not went under the 200 mark yet. ( glad I don't have a lot of followers LOL) I guess in reality though if you see me in person you can see I am fat. Oh well!!

This is not the direction I was going in. I am having a hard time right now knowing that all of the children (now adults) that my sons went to school with are off at college, getting married, having babies and going on with their lives. There parents are all excited, with their babies new goals, graduating from college, going into the arm forces, and getting married. I know I sound whinny and like I am not appreciative of my sons accomplishments that is not the case at all. There are many times that I am so happy that I don't have to worry about broken hearts, drinking and driving, drugs, and leaving home. But a lot of the time it just breaks my heart. Seth would love to have a so called normal life like an iPhone that actually rings or makes a sound with real friends not just grandparents. I car or truck instead of a Kawasaki mule. A real job instead of picking up sticks in the woods and piling them back up or helping around the house. A girl friend, but most of all I wish Seth did not have anxiety for simple things, like cats, doing something different or new,  eat something other than chicken tenders when we go to a restaurant and wear shirts that are round neck without freaking out because I can not find any v-neck shirts and his are ragged.   For Clay it is entirely a whole other set of  dreams and wishes. I wish he could have a real friend, that his behavior did not rule his and our lives, that he could really enjoy everyday things with out biting his finger, pulling his pants down, or taking off his shirt. I wish he could carry on a real conversation, stop tearing up stuff and most of all wear more clothes than just his underwear in the house.

Alright that is enough negative, pity party for me. I am proud of my children more than anyone could ever imagine. I just having a  pity party day which I am sure all of us do at sometime or another. No one completely understands except other parents with special needs children or adults. That is enough about that.