Health Insurance.....

I have recently quit work to stay home with my adults sons that have Fragile X Syndrome. So I have been looking for insurance for the family. We have had Blue Cross Blue Shield for years including the State Employee kind for the last 6 1/2 years. So we decided to go with BCBS again. Well it did not work out. Frank got a good reasonable plan, Clay got a good reasonable plan, they would not even consider Seth because we have guardianship over his health care but not his business decisions. So Seth could not even be considered for the plan. Now for me....I know that I have gained a lot of weight over the pass 6 years, but I do try to exercise and to eat healthy for most part. I do all of my wellness/preventive care and I recently talked to a  gastric by pass surgeon and he laughed and me and told me I was crazy that I did not fall in the category to have this surgery. I do not have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes.  So why did BCBS put me has a category 5 and my plan was going to be a 1000 dollars a month. They would not discuss with me over the phone the reason it had to be sent by letter. So today my letter comes and reason was because I am (5'5" Height, and 2_ _ Weight) What the heck!!! We can not afford to pay this for insurance. I am so angry and disappointed. I have tried to lose weight, I have used diet drugs, weight watcher, and counting calories. The diet drugs did not work, I need friends, money and support to do weight watchers, and counting calories get old... I am the queen of excuses I know!!! Starting in the morning I am giving my self one month to lose some weight. I am going to need all of the support I can get. I will not be fat and put in a category 5. This blows my mind. Obama Care is suppose to help women get better insurance cheaper and cover more. I have recently been put back on a low estrogen birthcontrol pill that the cost after insurance and a 10$ discount card still cost 60 dollars, had to get the prescription changed to a generic brand the cost  is 29$ with out insurance and 12 with. (No FREE birth control) No insurance because I am over weight. What am I to do??? but lose weight!! I sure hope that I will be successful but it worries me because in the past year I have only lost 6 lbs counting calories everyday... Alright I am not going to whine any more. Thanks for listening to me. 

21 years.....Really has it been that long?

21 years ago on a Sunday I was on my last week of pregnancy and was due on September the 9th 1992.

I got up that morning  getting a shower, dressed and heading to the hospital to visit my mom. I was getting excited because it was only 3 more days until my baby boy was suppose to enter the world. Frankie and I head to Pinehurst to spend most of the day with my mom. Her cancer had returned after 13 years of being cancer free. When we got to the hospital I told Frankie I just did not think I could walk up the hill from the parking lot today. I had walked it every time we had been to the hospital but today I just did not feel up to it. By the time we got to moms room I was tuckered out. Mom said I think you are going to have this baby today. I told her no it is not time, the doctor said I would probably go over with my first child. I did feel weird and I could not stay out of the bathroom but I just thought I was getting closer to delivery. It was getting around 3:00 oclock and we decided to head out and go see Frankie's granny Mabe. We usually would go visit her on Sunday evenings. So I head to the bathroom one more time and I think I see a little blood but I could not be for sure it could be wishful thinking. I tell my mom any way and she said you might as well stay here you are going to be turning around and heading right back down here. I just laughed and said yeah right. Frankie and I left and heading toward Star, NC to see Granny Mabe. Granny was cooking chicken and dumplings and I was getting hungry. Great-grandpa Banner came by to visit with us a while and was going to eat with us. I am sitting at the table and I feel a gush of water and I head to the bathroom. I come back out and I tell everyone that my water has just broke. Then the pain starts. I tell Frankie to start timing how far apart they are to see if we need to call the doctor or not.

Me at my baby shower.
The pain keeps getting worse and Grandpa Banner said "I am going home I don't want no part of this" Bless his heart he has already been through the birth of his children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great -great -grandchildren. I truly understood and was ready to head to the hospital myself to deliver my wonderful son!! We took Granny Mabe with us and off we went to Pinehurst! I was so glad that she was able to be a part of this special moment with her first grandson and another great grandson on his way! Frankie's parents were at Laura's and my mom was in the hospital. Well it took a while for
Seth Thomas Garner to make his arrival but here he is!! 8lbs 5oz. and 21 inches long.

On September 7, 1992. 

We had lots of visitors that morning, my mom got to come up from her floor and visit, Judy, Larry, and Laura came. My dad even came to see his first grandson. The sad thing is that I was so excited from having a baby that I did not think about taking pictures of all of the special moments. It makes me so sad not to have one picture of my dad with my son. (tears). Dad did not live but six months after Seth was born.

Seth and I when we arrived home.

Thought I would share this picture of my mom pregnant with me her first born child.

Bordom

Hello everybody, I am still trying to adjust to not getting up every morning and taking the kids to school or going to work. I have tried to organize, plan, or get crafty or anything but I start it or think about it and that is as far as it gets. I was thinking today that I would like to make a planner/organizer to buy and try new recipes. I got out the the 2 notebooks I had as an idea, kind of pictured in my head. Like having pockets,  cardstock to post recipes  or write notes or grocery list on.  I looked up some ideas on pinterest but I could not find what I had pictured in my mind and I stopped. I had plans to start exercising and eating right starting today but so far that has been a no go. I need some motivation, some get up off your but and do something productive. Maybe I will go walk on my treadmill ......

This is the two books that I got out to try to plan an organizer out of. The green one is new it has a purple pocket binder  like to put  coupons in and it has pockets to put stuff in but nothing to write on. The white one has recipes in it that I have accumulated from weight watchers. 

All right I went and walked on my treadmill for 3 minutes and 54 seconds before I was called upon by Clay to make him some soup, popcorn and kool-aide. I do not have any music to walk to because Clay will not let me have my iphone because I took away his ipod that is another story for another day. Seth will not let me use his nano, ipod or iphone to listen to music so that I will not be so bored to walk. I lifted my weights for the count of 15 for 3 different areas of the arms. Then Clay wanted something on tv. Oh well I will try again. I did not make it. Oh well I will try for longer tomorrow

Evening ride...

I love our family evening rides on the mule and sometimes in the car or truck. This evening we ride in the mule to go and check on Pop's cows. I love going over to the pasture to see what kind of wildlife will will come upon. I try to take my camera so that I can get pictures but sometime I forget or the animals move to fast. One evening we saw a family of raccoon, 3 small ones and a mom. I did not have the camera that evening but Frank put his trail camera over there for a couple of days and he got pictures of them on his mineral block.

We went for a ride this evening and we saw the doe, and her two fawns in the field behind grandmas's house.

There is a pair of hawks that are living in the pasture beside our chicken houses I am hoping to get a picture of them soon. I will post as soon as I can get them.

Guardianship

Today Frank and I starts the process to get guardianship of Clay. Clay will be turning 18 in November and because of his disability we have to get guardianship of him to make decisions for him. This is a very sad thing for me. I cried and was so sad for days when we got guardianship of Seth. It is so hard to look into a face of a 18 year old and see a handsome young man, with whiskers starting to grow on their faces, and voices changing. When other 18 years old children are seniors, or off to college, leaving home starting new beginnings in their lives. This is when reality slaps you in the face the hardest. We made big decisions this school year with Seth graduating, I quit work, and we decided to take Clay out of school. Frank and I knew that Clay could not handle school any longer and it was a big decision but I feel like Clay is happier.

Know we have got to figure out a schedule to keep us busy during the day when Frank is working in the chicken houses. I know I could clean out closets, and other things like that but that will only last a day or two.This is so new for us the boys have been in school since Seth was 3 years old and he will be 21 in ten days!! Oh well I need to get off here if anyone has any ideas to keep us busy let me know.

Vacation is over.....

Vacation is over and as usual it went by way to fast. Beach time is our families favorite time of the year. When Clay is on the beach he is like an entirely different child. The ocean soothes everything that can or is going on with Clay's fragile x. He loves the beach and he sits in the water for 3 to 5 hours a day. He loves the waves to crash and splash him. He watches to make sure if he needs to stand up or brace himself for a bigger wave. We had a great time and hate when it is time to come home. We did a lot this time. We rode up to Cherry Grove where we use to stay when the boys were little and before they tore down our favorite hotel "Cherry Grove Manor" to build a high-rise. We went to Barefoot landing and walk around and Bass Pro. We had lots of good food especially my favorite "River City Cafe" in Murrell's Inlet. They have the best cheeseburger in the world!! The owner and the help remember us from the past years and they make us feel very welcomed. We also enjoyed two evenings at Huntington Beach State Park. We set the camera up with the self timer and got some family pictures which I love!!

I also loved seeing the alligators, and all of the beautiful birds in the marsh. I almost got a picture of a pink spoonbill bird but just as I got the camera set up it flew off. It makes me want to take pictures of wildlife more than ever. I talked to several people who lived at the beach that come out a lot and take pictures of the wildlife. Two different days while sitting on the beach we saw a bald eagle fly over the beach. One of the times the eagle was fighting with a osprey. I wish I would have had my camera with me then but not that lucky. We also saw around 30 dolphins right beyond the swimmers in the ocean one day. They were beautiful I tried to get a picture of them but you could not see them in the photo. 

Seth also had a good time at the beach. His first day always plays on his anxiety but by bedtime he has regrouped and had a great time. He was talking about see a pretty girl on the beach when we got home. Frank was washing the car and Seth said "that girl just said "who is that good looking boy sitting beside Frank?" I play along with him and say " yeah wonder what his name is?" He sure is handsome!" He said " she just likes me don't she". I said "yes" she just wants your phone number but she was to scared to come and ask you." I just love that boy! We love to go to the lazy gator at Murrell's Inlet. We enjoyed sitting on the porch in the cool breeze in the rocking chairs. 

We have often talked about living at the beach but I am not sure we would fit in. My dream is to just stay there all summer and live at home the rest of the year. 

Vacation....

We are just now getting ready to go on vacation and I can not wait. I just hope and pray that we have a great time and it does not rain. I remember the first family vacation that my family took. My dad as you know is an alcoholic so we did not do a lot of family vacations. If I can remember right my brother was around 4, my sister around 6 and I guess that would make me around 12. It was summer time and we lived in Rockingham. We packed the car up and was headed to the beach. We got to the South of the Border and and we were so fascinated  with all of the cool stuff there that we did not want to go on to the beach, so we got a room. It was the first time we had stayed in a motel and I remember how amazed we were at the room. I looked for a picture on the internet to share but I could not find anything. I will try my best to describe it. It was dark red walls, heavy dark red velvety curtains with gold tassels, the bed spreads were dark red velvet. we thought we were in a castle. There was a great big pool what more could we ask for. We stayed in the pool most of the time, swimming and playing. Mom sit out in the sun and relaxed and daddy was in the room but he came out drinking and was almost drunk. He passed out in the sun and got sunburned all over except where his bathing suit was, even the top of his feet were burnt. Don't start thinking poor little family drunk dad no true good memories. We had a blast! We loved our dad and to our family being drunk was just a part of life. He was not a mean drunk and he loved us. I miss my dad and I really hate that he did not live to see he had six grandsons. He would be so proud!

The last family picture we ever had taken I was 21 years old.