Evening ride...

I love our family evening rides on the mule and sometimes in the car or truck. This evening we ride in the mule to go and check on Pop's cows. I love going over to the pasture to see what kind of wildlife will will come upon. I try to take my camera so that I can get pictures but sometime I forget or the animals move to fast. One evening we saw a family of raccoon, 3 small ones and a mom. I did not have the camera that evening but Frank put his trail camera over there for a couple of days and he got pictures of them on his mineral block.

We went for a ride this evening and we saw the doe, and her two fawns in the field behind grandmas's house.

There is a pair of hawks that are living in the pasture beside our chicken houses I am hoping to get a picture of them soon. I will post as soon as I can get them.

Guardianship

Today Frank and I starts the process to get guardianship of Clay. Clay will be turning 18 in November and because of his disability we have to get guardianship of him to make decisions for him. This is a very sad thing for me. I cried and was so sad for days when we got guardianship of Seth. It is so hard to look into a face of a 18 year old and see a handsome young man, with whiskers starting to grow on their faces, and voices changing. When other 18 years old children are seniors, or off to college, leaving home starting new beginnings in their lives. This is when reality slaps you in the face the hardest. We made big decisions this school year with Seth graduating, I quit work, and we decided to take Clay out of school. Frank and I knew that Clay could not handle school any longer and it was a big decision but I feel like Clay is happier.

Know we have got to figure out a schedule to keep us busy during the day when Frank is working in the chicken houses. I know I could clean out closets, and other things like that but that will only last a day or two.This is so new for us the boys have been in school since Seth was 3 years old and he will be 21 in ten days!! Oh well I need to get off here if anyone has any ideas to keep us busy let me know.

Vacation is over.....

Vacation is over and as usual it went by way to fast. Beach time is our families favorite time of the year. When Clay is on the beach he is like an entirely different child. The ocean soothes everything that can or is going on with Clay's fragile x. He loves the beach and he sits in the water for 3 to 5 hours a day. He loves the waves to crash and splash him. He watches to make sure if he needs to stand up or brace himself for a bigger wave. We had a great time and hate when it is time to come home. We did a lot this time. We rode up to Cherry Grove where we use to stay when the boys were little and before they tore down our favorite hotel "Cherry Grove Manor" to build a high-rise. We went to Barefoot landing and walk around and Bass Pro. We had lots of good food especially my favorite "River City Cafe" in Murrell's Inlet. They have the best cheeseburger in the world!! The owner and the help remember us from the past years and they make us feel very welcomed. We also enjoyed two evenings at Huntington Beach State Park. We set the camera up with the self timer and got some family pictures which I love!!

I also loved seeing the alligators, and all of the beautiful birds in the marsh. I almost got a picture of a pink spoonbill bird but just as I got the camera set up it flew off. It makes me want to take pictures of wildlife more than ever. I talked to several people who lived at the beach that come out a lot and take pictures of the wildlife. Two different days while sitting on the beach we saw a bald eagle fly over the beach. One of the times the eagle was fighting with a osprey. I wish I would have had my camera with me then but not that lucky. We also saw around 30 dolphins right beyond the swimmers in the ocean one day. They were beautiful I tried to get a picture of them but you could not see them in the photo. 

Seth also had a good time at the beach. His first day always plays on his anxiety but by bedtime he has regrouped and had a great time. He was talking about see a pretty girl on the beach when we got home. Frank was washing the car and Seth said "that girl just said "who is that good looking boy sitting beside Frank?" I play along with him and say " yeah wonder what his name is?" He sure is handsome!" He said " she just likes me don't she". I said "yes" she just wants your phone number but she was to scared to come and ask you." I just love that boy! We love to go to the lazy gator at Murrell's Inlet. We enjoyed sitting on the porch in the cool breeze in the rocking chairs. 

We have often talked about living at the beach but I am not sure we would fit in. My dream is to just stay there all summer and live at home the rest of the year. 

Vacation....

We are just now getting ready to go on vacation and I can not wait. I just hope and pray that we have a great time and it does not rain. I remember the first family vacation that my family took. My dad as you know is an alcoholic so we did not do a lot of family vacations. If I can remember right my brother was around 4, my sister around 6 and I guess that would make me around 12. It was summer time and we lived in Rockingham. We packed the car up and was headed to the beach. We got to the South of the Border and and we were so fascinated  with all of the cool stuff there that we did not want to go on to the beach, so we got a room. It was the first time we had stayed in a motel and I remember how amazed we were at the room. I looked for a picture on the internet to share but I could not find anything. I will try my best to describe it. It was dark red walls, heavy dark red velvety curtains with gold tassels, the bed spreads were dark red velvet. we thought we were in a castle. There was a great big pool what more could we ask for. We stayed in the pool most of the time, swimming and playing. Mom sit out in the sun and relaxed and daddy was in the room but he came out drinking and was almost drunk. He passed out in the sun and got sunburned all over except where his bathing suit was, even the top of his feet were burnt. Don't start thinking poor little family drunk dad no true good memories. We had a blast! We loved our dad and to our family being drunk was just a part of life. He was not a mean drunk and he loved us. I miss my dad and I really hate that he did not live to see he had six grandsons. He would be so proud!

The last family picture we ever had taken I was 21 years old.

Family

I have recently found a blog written by my dad sister. I have always love my Aunt Melba she is a wonderful person inside and out. I remember some great times with her and her girls. Two of my most vivid memories are; one time I went to the beach with Aunt Shelby,  Aunt Melba and their families. My Aunt Melba has very beautiful long black hair (down to her butt long). I had a sucker and was leaning over the front seat like I often did as a child. I dropped my sucker in her hair (oh no). I remember how scared I was to tell her that my sucker was in her beautiful hair. "Melba I whispered tapping on her shoulder." The car was full of kids so she did not hear me. Once again "Melba, I whispered again" this time she hears me and I am about to tear up and say I dropped my sucker in your hair. I could tell she was upset but she was sweet and said it would be okay that she will get it out. I also remember the time we were in the car together Melba, Andee', Lynn, my mom, Cindy, and Randy, and me. We were heading from Aberdeen to Rockingham. I was burping eggs all the way! We laughed and rolled the windows down. I have spent summers with her and my cousins and had some great times. I love my Aunt Melba! I am also getting to know my grandma by reading her blog. I feel horrible that I don't know these things about my grandma. I feel like I was cheated out of knowing her and I am not sure why. I know my dad was an alcoholic and for majority of my life we would take dad to grandma's and leave him for the weekend. I never got grandma time. I would just see her brief periods at a time. She was always nice to me and I loved her but I missed out on really getting to know her.  I hope that my aunt continues to write in her blog so I can get to know my grandma and the rest of my dad's family. He told a few childhood stories but that is for another day.

New Position in my life....

Wednesday I went and resigned from my teacher assistant job that I struggled with. I have been in this position for almost seven years. I have loved each child just like they were my own. I have loved the job even with the ups and downs of teachers. I sometimes think I may be hard to get along with but I honestly don't think its me.The stress of 3 new teachers, my best buddy (like family) teacher assistant retired and Clay feel apart from the drama and changes that happened in the last 3 school years. By the end of this past school year Clay would not stay in the room for nothing. He would go out and sit in the swing all day, just coming in for lunch. He also had gotten were he would not keep his shirt on and also pulling his pants down. I can not be his mom and teacher at school especially when the rest of the staff did not understand. I know in my heart I have made the right decision to quit and stay home with my sons but it is scary with all of the change. I have always known that my life would always revolve around my sons and I do not resent my decision. I love my family!

Clay's First year of high school. 

Ipods

I am so happy that Apple made Ipods, Ipads, and Iphones. They have made life easier and harder all at the same time. I just fed-x both of Clay's Ipod back to Apple and hoping that they will be fixed. One of them has insurance on it and the other one the insurance ran out but still covered by the year warranty. I am just hoping that they will both be fixed free of charge. I was so glad that the fed-x man was patient. He helped me put the Ipods in the boxes, and took them with him. I am so grateful that he took the time to help me.  Changing the subject I went out this morning to throw out some table scrapes and a chipmunk come running out as fast as he could scurry around the big oak tree with the ivy growing on it. He scared me at first but then I saw him and he is so cute. I wished I would have had a camera and he was moving slower to take a picture of him. I also went out and pulled the wild strawberries out of my flower bed it looks a lot better.

struggling

I have a lot on my mind and what I should do? I have been praying a lot and I know the answer but I  still worry. Some big changes are coming up for me and my family. It is going to take a lot of pulling together and tighten down the belt. I know in my heart that it is best for my children, me and Frank, but it also means that we will have a whole let less money. I think if we can just make it until the first of the year we will be okay I know that we can do it with Gods help. He has been providing and guiding my family for 24 years and he is not going to give up on us now. I have been canning every vegetable I can get my hands on. Here are a few pictures.

Corn

Green Beans

salsa, and squash relish

Spaghetti Sauce

I have also started an herb garden but the rabbits are trying to eat it up.

Blogging

I love reading blogs and I would love to keep mine up and write it in more often than I do. I always am worrying about what if someone reads it? I want to write stuff that affects my life daily but I am afraid. I know that a blog should be a place to share experiences and stuff that would make people come back and read but I am scared. I don't want to be I want to share but I can not bring myself to do it. I don't even know what to write here. Oh well maybe I will learn.