Friday, August 17, 2012

Day 53 Prison Break

Today I am suppose to think about how my body has kept me in prison because I am not able to do what I would like to. There are many things that my fat keeps me from doing. I am not comfortable with my fat. I would love to have a spa day but I would never let someone massage my fat. I tried kayaking and I was so embarrassed because I could not get out of the kayak. I would love to go horse back riding but I know that my knees and weight hinder me. I need to make a list of things that I need to change to break myself from the prison that I stay in.
1. I need to get over the fact that my life is always going to be about my children and accept it and stop whining about it.
2. I need to decide if I want to lose weight and do it or stop worrying about it.
3. I need to make a plan and stick to it no matter what.
4. I need to make a commitment to do some kind of exercise every day.
5. I need to learn to like myself and my life and thank God for it everyday.
6. I need to keep a better attitude toward myself.
7. I need to get healthy!
8. I need to laugh more!
9. I need to pray more!
10. I need to stop having beat myself down days!

I can do this and I know that I can. I just remembered that I was suppose to find my inner peace this summer and I did not do it. I am hung up on this new transition that I am going through in my life with my children getting older. As a friend of mine wrote in her blog about transitioning with a teenager/adult is Hell. To read her blog on this click here. You don't realize all of the changes that a mother with special needs/disabled children goes through. I get so angry and sad at the same time because I know that my children are growing into fine young adults and later into middle aged adults and so forth. They are not really worried about what their future holds and what is to come but as a parent it is hard to see everything that they are missing out on. Like getting their license, having girlfriends, wife, and children. I have got to pray for God's help to help me get over this next step in my life and to be ready and able to tackle the next stop.

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