Thursday, December 31, 2015

2015 in Review

The year in a review. 2015 has had it's up and down but over all it has not been to bad.

Children:
Seth has been keeping busy doing his "stick work" riding his bike and riding the mule. He is also very helpful in house work to. He does all of the laundry, does the vacuuming and also keeps his and Clays rooms clean. He is also our comedian, he loves to watch Young and the Restless and keeping up with Facebook.

Clay is busy swinging , watching movies and he collects balls. He is a wiz on his computer. He goes through headphone/earbud like water and he loves to take a bath. We have started shaving him this year also.



Clay and Seth

Pets: don't really have any pets but our cows

Biggest change: Both boys are out of there teens. Clay turned 20 this November. 

Biggest Frustration: Clay breaking earbuds, and getting where he does not want to go visit people. 

Deaths: I lost my Aunt Velon and Grandma Myrtie 

Births: none

Farm events: We have raised 5 flocks of chickens this year. We had a very dry summer and the pasture grass got really bad had to feed the cows feed over the summer. The lighting took out all of the light bulbs in the chicken house and had to replace all of them and we had new feed bins put in. This was to big cost on the farm. We had a big tree to fall tearing down the power line. We had a good garden despite the lack of rain. I canned a lot of green beans, tomatoes and made pickles with cucumbers. 

I decided to read the bible thru in a year for the first time ever and I completed last week. I did not lose any weight and keep it off all year. I walked a 100 miles in August! 
My mother-in-law was sick in the beginning of the year and got sick again in November going into the hospital . She is doing better know hoping the New year she stays well. 

my Christmas cactus. 
Hope that we have a wonderful 2016 God Bless!






Saturday, December 26, 2015

Brother and Sister Christmas get together

I am feeling horrible. I prayed last night and realized I almost ruined my Christmas being angry over nothing. I have got to get myself under control. I really believe that it is my hormones. I am really going to have to talk to my doctor when I go for my check up in March.

We had a wonderful time!! I was so happy to see everyone and we had a great time. I really feel terrible that I wrote what I said in my blog about it all yesterday. I just wish it could last longer. I need to stop assuming things and be nice.

Alright that is enough about that. We had a great time! My sister gave me a beautiful vest and scarf. My brother painted me the matching picture of my dad to go with the picture of my mom.



Here are a few more pictures that my sister took on her phone and shared with me. 
My nephews playing with there turtles

My brother and his family

My sister and her family

Me my brother an sister

The whole clan!


Thanks for stopping by God bless!

Friday, December 25, 2015

Christmas Day....

Today went pretty good with a few exceptions.  I really don't want to blog a complaining blog but I really need to get this out of my mind. The lead up to this Christmas has been a downer for me and the Farmer. With his mom being sick for around 3 months prior to Christmas and Grandma started having mini strokes and passing away put us in the blues. Along with the fact that his family decided we could not exchange gifts. We found it hard to accept the fact that you can not buy your mom and dad a present. They fussed about it everyday so that we would not buy them anything so we did not. Also as you know from Thanksgiving that we were not even sure if Clay would participate going in the farmers parents house for Christmas.

The reason I say this Clay has gotten were he will not go in their house much anymore without having a meltdown. Also the fact that Clay loves Christmas!! His love for Christmas and going to beach! Mamaw bought him some presents so this was a bribe to get him in the house. He ate his soup, popcorn and drink. Then he was ready for presents. He was not to thrilled with the fact that we all did not go into the living room and open gifts like normal. We are talking 20 years of opening presents with mamaw and pops. He kinda broke my heart because he tolerated going into the living room with the whole crown and sat patiently waiting to open gifts.

What really topped the day off though was the fact that the Farmers, cousins and aunt showed up for a visit. Now this made the house really loud and crowded and it overwhelmed Seth a little and Clay got ready to go. I had to sit with him and rubbed his back to get him to stay a little while longer. But he realized no more gifts so he was out of there. We got there at 1:00 and left at 3:00 So this was a lot better than thanksgiving but it was also a little hard.

Tomorrow is Christmas with my brother and sister and I have made myself so angry with my sister that I am not even looking forward to it. She has hurt my feelings more than one time at the holidays and once again she has succeeded in doing that. I am going to pray hard to night to let go of the anger. Anger is not good it only clogs my brain and makes me miserable. She does not even know that I am angry with her. Oh well I will stop complaining I am ready for Christmas to be over. I have not taken any pictures hopefully I will get some tomorrow.

Please pray for me.

Thanks if you have read this far. Merry Christmas

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Christmas Songs....

I love Christmas song. I have the best Christmas memories of my mom singing Christmas songs to me in the car when I was little. She had a beautiful voice. She would sing Jingle Bells, Santa Claus Coming to Town, and many more childhood songs. She also sang Silver Bells and I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus. These two were my favorites. I love when the 99.5 Magic radio station starts playing Christmas music all day from Thanksgiving until New Year.

My sons always liked me singing to them until they got iPods that do it for them. My youngest son loves Christmas and love to listen to and sing christmas songs. His favorites are Holly Jolly Christmas and Up on the Housetop. He is so ready for presents.

I am really trying hard to get more into the Christmas spirit but it is so hard especially now that grandma Myrtie passed away yesterday. Our family keeps dwindling away. Now the Farmer has no more grandparents alive and mine have been dead for years. All we have are his parents,  his sister and her family, he has 6 aunt and uncles alive and I have a sister and her family, a brother and his family, and 3 aunts. All of them live at least on hour or more away in my side. His side most live close by and 2 live far away.

Getting older is hard and once your parents or grandparents pass then families start falling apart. They don't get together no more and to me that is so sad.

On a happier note we have finished our Christmas shopping and I have most of the presents wrapped. Now waiting for Santa to come.

Thanks for stopping by and share your favorite Christmas song with me.

Friday, December 11, 2015

Sad times....

It is a sad time around here. The Farmer's grandma is going down hill fast. It is so sad to hear about. I can not make myself go and visit her. It brings back memories of so many of my loved one passing away. It is so hard to believe that I took her back in September to pick grapes. 

She is refusing to eat or drink. It will not be long and it is so sad. My prayer is for God to just take her with out anymore suffering. 






Thursday, December 10, 2015

Christmas time...

I feel like I should tell everyone that this from my heart. I love my parents and my siblings very much and not in any way should anyone to feel bad for me because this is my life! I love it and it has made me into the person I am today.

I love Christmas but there are so many sad memories of Christmas. I sat here tonight and watched Dolly Parton's new movie "Coat of Many Colors" I cried through the whole movie. It was so much love in the Parton's family and the Love for God. They even got their daddy saved at the end of the movie. They even found love with the bullies at school.

The memories of my childhood came flooding in along with the memories of the rest of my life. I have had some Christmas's that I should just forget but they are a part of my life. Like the Christmas my dad gave our Santa gifts away to the neighborhood kid. His heart was in the right place because the dad  of the little girl was an alcoholic like he was, he was on his way to prison and had lost everything. But my daddy did not think about how me and my sister would feel he was just thinking about the little girl that was losing her daddy and he had no gifts for her.

 My aunt took my mom out on Christmas eve to buy us gifts. I don't remember any Christmas as a child that my dad was sober during Christmas. One Christmas he was drunk and woke me up to help him put a race track together for my little brother. Oh well They are my memories and I would not change them for the world. I love my daddy I was daddy's little girl. He had a heart of gold and I see myself in him more than I would like sometimes but most of it was his best side!

This also made me think about what has influenced my life to make me the person I am today. My childhood was my childhood and here again I would not change it. I have had a lot of people say I should write a book but I am not a writer and I don't always find my life that appealing to everyone else. The one thing that came to my mind tonight was what has made me selfish with gifts. When I was little before my sister came along I was a spoiled child. My parents had good jobs and I had a good life. Ponies, cats, dogs clothes, toys and anything my heart desired. Around the age 6 my sister was born and my whole life changed. I never realized until I was in my 20's exactly how this affected my life.

The story starts the day my sister was born my dad had left with some drinking buddies and ended up in Florida. My whole life ended has I had knew it. My mom, sister and me moved in with her brother and his family. This was hard on me. No dad a new baby and living with my uncle. My dad use to call me and talk to me on the phone crying and wanting to come home. I was only 6 years old. He finally came home when my sister was going on two years old.

He wanted so bad to have her attention. She was calling my uncle daddy and my dad hated that. He worked hard to get her love and for her to understand that he was her daddy. This did not take long but then it was not long my mom was having my brother. This is the time my dad was so proud he had a son, but this is also around the Christmas that he gave away and mom packed up and we left him again.  I always felt after that I had to fight for attention and stuff because I was the oldest and I was suppose to understand. I got so selfish and cried, threw a fit when I did not get what I wanted. Like the time I wanted a pair of boots but my brother needed them because he needed some leather shoes so his feet would get well. My sister got a pair to because their's cost less than mine because they were little and by then my foot had grown into a size 9. I got those boots for Christmas after crying and fussing. Then I wanted some Levis jeans. I wanted to be like everyone else at school. Same I cried and fuss until my uncle threw 50$ to my mom and told her to buy me some damn Levis.
But the worse was when I was in the 9th grade and I wanted a pair of green corduroy Levi overalls. It was Christmas and mom said there was no way she could afford them. I really showed my self over these stupid overalls and cried fussed and yelled at my poor mom until she finally told me she had bought them for me for Christmas. I was so ugly.  I hate that now! I don't remember ever telling her I am sorry that I was so ugly. I know that she would forgive me. I miss my parents so much.

Now at age 48 my parents have been dead for 22 years. I still feel selfish sometimes when it comes to things I want but I have tried hard not to want everything right now. I still have times that I get on kicks that I must have something but I talk myself out of it sometimes.

Thanks for stoping by and if you read it to the end God bless you!

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Memories....

Today is my dad's birthday! I miss him so much. I think of him most every day. I think about how much he would love having 6 grandson. How much he would enjoy Christmas. How much I am reminded that I am just like him in so many ways. I know that there was a time I would never had admitted that I am like my dad but I see him in me every day. Happy Birthday Daddy!


I am sorry that I am so slack on blogging on a regular basis. I do come on the blog everyday and think I should write something but I never do. I am still reading my daily devotion weight loss book and it is so inspiring but I have not made any effort to do anything about my weight.  I have come to the  conclusion that I am an emotional wreck. One day I am happy and trying to make others happy the next day I feel like I could cry all day. I hate these feelings and wish that I could get a full grasp on them and carry on.  I have not walked and worried about my fitbit competitions. I feel emotionally drained. I am still reading my bible everyday and even that feels like a burden somedays. Then I feel guilty and I know that God deserves better. Oh well that is enough about my loom and gloom. I know that I can get back on track all I need to do is pray and trust in God.

On some brighter notes!!! My brother and his family is coming home for Christmas!! I am so excited! I even had a hormone mishap about this but with love and support from the Farmer, my boys and my brother and his wife. I worked through it. See I told you I was a wreck.

We had Thanksgiving at the Farmer's parents house. His sister and her family came. This was cut short because Clay and fragile x was not having anything to do with it this year. The Farmer had to take him home about 5 to 10 minutes after getting there. Me and Seth ate and left with lots of left overs. We had a good time afterward. We went up to Morrow Mountain and took a family photo.



I have my Christmas tree put up. For the first time in probably 18 years that I have put up a live tree. I just realized that this picture is blurry of my tree.



The Farmer and I went out on an early anniversary shopping and dinner. We had a really good time. 


I have not made any Christmas crafts this year and I don't see me doing any. It is almost like I want the holidays to be over and the new year to begin. I hope that I will be in a better place by then.  

Thanks for stopping by. May God bless you all.