I love Christmas even though it can bring a little stress and blow a budget all up but I love Christmas. I hate to admit this but I love gifts. I don't care how big or small, or how much it cost or where it comes from. I just love gifts. My youngest son loves Christmas also and he is all about presents!!
I know that life keeps moving on. It never slows down or wait for you to catch up with it. I learned this when my parents died and when my boys were diagnosed with Fragile X. So you morn in your own time and your own way. No one can do it just like anyone else. We try to be happy, put on a smile and live life to the max but in the back of our minds there is always that sadness, emptiness and missing our love ones or what we thought our life would be like. For most part I have come to acceptance of both of these things and moved on with life and I am finding my happiness again. Then something else changes and brings back the sting.
My mother-in-law announced that we are not going to give presents at Christmas this year. I have been in the family for 26 years and it has changed many times over the years. From having Christmas with mother-in-laws side of the family get togethers coming to an end as children grew up and people started passing away. Father-in-laws side of the family which now as became on grandma and her children. With an exceptions of some grandchildren but not all of them. My parents died and christmas stopped with family except me and my siblings still get together but I know that it will stop one day also.
Don't get me wrong I know children grow up, people die and life changes everyday, but it does not mean I have to like it. I also have to admit that I am a little jealous because my life is....or feels like a stand still. Not really stand still but it is my life my family our fragile x. Even though body wise my boys are grown up mentally they will always be my little boys.
Oh that is enough whining from me today. Sorry you had to hear this but I needed to say it out load. I love my life and my family and always will.
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