I have been kind of out of sorts for weeks. I had a lot of stuff on my mind every since my aunt Betty was so sick and in the hospital. The farmer's mom having pneumonia twice over the winter. My sister having her surgery and my brother informing us that he is moving away. I have had a back pain that I am not still sure where it is coming from but is feeling much better. My granny's birthday just passed on March 29th and she would have been 103 years old if she had still been alive. It is sometimes still hard to believe that she has been died for 25 years. I miss her so much! I am frustrated that I have let 3 months go by and I am not back on track with my diet and getting healthy. I have not even cared that my friends are beating me on my fitbit tracking steps. Yesterday the farmer caught a stomach bug and is so sick. I have just been kind of on the depressed side, down in the dumps and wanting to find my happiness. Really I know the answers are going to come to me. I pray about it daily. I was even low yesterday because I feel like I give everybody excuses all of the time.
My life is hard to explain on a blog and it is hard to explain sometimes even when I am talking to a friend or to God. Even though I know God knows all my needs I do talk to him about it. Life is does not come with a book. Life does not come with the same rules, laughter, love and daily routines that everyone else has. Life is always throwing you a curve ball and it is all how you handle it that makes the difference. I let stuff bother me and worry me that I should not worry about.
I was feeling low yesterday morning because it dawned on me I had not remembered to read and study my bible on Tuesday. Tuesday morning was kind of a crazy morning. Me and the boys had plans to go to the zoo with mamaw. When we get up and eat breakfast Clay decided he wanted to go and watch the farmer and pops get chicken manure out of the chicken houses or the "stink" as Clay calls them. So I decided to take Clay up there until time to get ready for the zoo. He was mad an aggravated the whole morning. At 10:00 we went home and got ready for the zoo. I went over and picked up mamaw and off we go. Long story short. Ended up going one way and then stuff got changed went the other way got stuck in construction where Clay proceeded to have a quick meltdown. Thought he was going to tear up the seat in the new car. Finally get to the zoo everyone happy. Had a great walk around the zoo. Go on into Asheboro to take Clay to Goodwill and get some lunch. Here are a few pictures from the zoo.
|Clay, Mamaw, and Seth walking|
|Meet up with Cousin Donna and she went with us to see the dinosaurs|
|Mrs. Loin seem to be posing for her picture|
|Clay Mamaw and Seth Oh yeah if you notice Clay is holding his sunglasses that did not make it home because he throw them over the bridge as we were leaving.|
Got home the chicken spreader was broken down with the wheel off the hub, farmer and pops looking to find someone with parts to fix it, ending up ordering. Pops and the farmer took the boys with them to a shop to get a new tire and me and mamaw went and visited one of her friends. Got home once again and spent time with them family and watched Killing Jesus based on a book Fox news reporter Bill O'Riley wrote. Very good movie by the way and recommend if you get the Fox news network channel watch it this week end if you get a chance. Oh yeah I remembered the next day that I had gotten my bible out and followed along reading the scripture as I was watching the movie so I did not really mess up my 161 days of reading the bible. That made me feel better.
So yesterday my aunt Shelby calls to invite me to a Easter/reunion at her farm in Durham. The weekend that she is planning it is right at the time the farmer will be getting his chickens back. So more than likely we will not be able to attend. I was invited to come with the boys or by myself and here is where the excuses come in. I use to take the boys by myself when they where little and 9 times out of 10 I would end up mad, cussing and crying thinking why????? So with that said now that they are 23 and 20 I don't take them anywhere with out help. Life is to short to even think about it because no matter what something always happens. I take them to Sunday school and that is about my limit and sometime I have question myself there. Leaving in the same state of WHY???? So with that said I don't go much of anywhere by myself. Most of the time we do everything as a family.
I know I complain sometimes that I would like to have a friend to do something with, or to just go shopping by myself. But I hate doing things by myself. I do things with friends nearby, but the farmer worries if I want to plan going so where far off.
Oh well I feel like a am rambling and this is getting long. It is amazing how much you can write and hope that it makes since without even trying. Sometimes I just talk to much. Hoping that I will soon get over this depressed phase I am going through. You know this month is my Birthday month!!
Thanks for stopping by.