Thursday, July 26, 2012

Day 38 It is time to change the Tape

Well it looks like I got yesterday and today's mixed up. I need to changed the tape but it keeps rewinding over and over in my head. It is hard to change the tape of life when you make the best of it but it rewinds by it's self when it gets to the end just like in a video player. In 25 years nothing mind blowing to the good has happened in our lives. We live day to day in this crazy world that is spinning around us we can not hide from it, we can not change it all we can do is hold on tight and hope that we don't fall off. I pray everyday for all of the craziness that goes on in this world today. I pray for the leaders, the sick, the elder, the unsaved, and my family and friends. I know that God is the only one that can save us and lead us down the right path. I know the Bible tells us not to worry that God will provide. I know that all of these things are true but why do I stay so down. I use to could pick myself up and shake my self off and be happy. Now days it is almost impossible to make it through the day with out feeling sad. I don't really think that I am depressed I just feel like there is no end to this discouragement I feel about life. I have always had a 5 year plan to look forward to progress but I don't even have that any more. I did not accomplish my last 5 year plan and I don't even want to look ahead anymore. There is a little less than 2 years for one of our family goals to be met but the struggle to get there and now knowing the tax penalties when we get there makes it not a happy thing. The worse thing we have done as a family is take over the chicken houses. We are so deep in debt that we only work to pay bills. There is no money left for anything else. So depressing. Oh well I have gotten of topic of changing the tape for my health. With all of the other discouraging things that are going on in my life it is hard to even care about my health especially  when you have not lost any weight with all the effort that I have been putting into it. I will not give up I will not give up! I will not give up! I will not let the Devil win!
I am going to exercise.

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