pondering

I have been pondering around this idea that true friends may have never really exists. Especially since my children are teenagers. When they were little I was in like a little mom's group with other moms that had children my age. Then when they start to school things started slowing down. I know that everyone has a life and a family and they are busy trying to keep up with all of the different things that are throw at us. The friends I had when my children were young are know working and doing things they want to do, while I am still having to take care of my boys. Fragile X never lets up. It never lets you see beyond the day. It takes away all of your dreams of a so called normal life but it also makes you stop and thank God that it is my life. Like going to the prom this year with my 18 year old. He is very kind and innocent mind. I did not have to worry about where he was or if he was drinking, having sex, or having a wreck. He was in my back seat with his date telling her not to be scared that he would protect her. Then I have Clay??? He is my youngest son and he can not handle these kinds of things even though we are working on it. I just want friends that truly care and truly understand. Someone who does not judge or care about the way my life is. I want family that will listen and visit and want to really be connected. I want to believe that there is a true purpose why things are the way they are. Oh well I was just pondering now it is getting to deep.